The Familia. (ZeRoyalChaos TOS fanfiction)

Forgiveness and friends.

The church stood still as the memories faded. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, the clean air from outside mixed with the dusty and old air inside. The place seemed empty, but I knew where I wanted to go. The confessional stood in the far corner, and I walked steadily and calmly towards it. I slid the wooden door open, and sat down, sliding it shut. The room was dark, and strangely cold. The hatching was fine and I coudn't make out a face even if I wanted to.

I heard the door on the other side open and light entered, temporarily blinding me. When it shut again I knew someone else was here with me.

"Father?" I asked into the darkness.

"Close enough." The voice was slightly muffled so that I wouldn't be able to tell who it was.

"I have sinned. Last night... I killed a man with my bare hands, and I have to admit that even though it made me feel sick and dizzy... I enjoyed it." I almost whispered it.

No response came, and so I continued, "I always say that we do not choose what role we are given, but I think I was made for this role. I wanted to kill that man, he was a traitor, he was the bad guy... I'm not sure what to do, I fear killing again, maybe I'll get too comfortable? Maybe I will want to kill after that."

A thought brushed my mind, What if my father loved to kill so much that he killed my mother without real orders or reason? I tried to shrug it off, but it seemed too real now I'd heard it.

"Excuse me father, I believe I have finished. Do you leave first, or do I?" I asked, quietly, now swimming in sinister thoughts.

"Does it really matter who leaves first? I know who you are, and I'm no father."

I stepped outside the box and from the other door Max appeared.

"Why?" It seemed so pointless to follow me here.

He shrugged, "I was curious."

"About what? If you had asked I would have told you, instead you followed me to my place of worship and ruined a sacred activity."

"Place of worship? A killer who's very religious, that's strange. No matter, I was just curious, however the information that you like to kill is not exactly what I wanted."

Fuck.

"I came to beg forgiveness, and you ruined that for me. I said that I do not wish to kill again. You have submitted, what risk is it to you?" 

"I have a family." He stated.

"Make them sign over?" It was a suggestion, and a simple one.

"They don't want to. I suggested to her that she join you, but she frowns upon your... Activities."

"Not my problem, not my fault."

I walked away from him and out the church, the sun was rising rapidly at this point, and I made my way to the town centre.

The town seemed empty for once, and as I looked around there were a lot less people than there had been before. Anthony climbed onto the gallows and I was actually interested by the town.

"Do not fear, there are many less here today, but there was only one murder in the night. Lots of citizens are leaving in fear, but I assure you that this town is safe. We are working hard to protect you and we will find both the serial killer and Mafia that are terrorizing the town. Now, a town member did die last night. A lookout was stabbed, but the Mafia committed no crimes again. We can only hope for now." He seemed a little sad about lying to the town, but he was also doing the right thing.

Nothing much happened in voting, the people seemed disheartened by all the leavers. No-one accused anyone and the chat was vague.

We walked out and there was no lynching, the people moped back to their houses and Anthony stopped me in my tracks.

"Can we talk tonight? Just me and you, my house." He asked quietly.

"Of course buddy." 

*****

The night was cold, as always. When I knocked on Anthony's door he let me in without comment, and he sat quietly at this table, me standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"I wanted to talk to you properly. Sit down, please, it's not so long since we were friends." He said, giving me a weak smile.

I took the seat opposite him and tried to smile back, "Just nearly a decade buddy."

"Yeah..."

I took off my coat and hung it on the back of the chair, "So, what do you need to tell me?"

"I wanted to talk about when we were younger, and if you were okay with it... John."

I closed my eyes and nodded, this wasn't going to be fun, "Go on."

"Do you remember when we were kids? Me, you, Steven and John all used to play together."

"Yeah, John was great. It was a long time ago, but I remember it vividly."

"And then, after your mum died, you and John were much quieter? You barely even spoke to me and Steven, we got real worried about you two."

I half nodded and half shrugged, "It was a rough way for her to go."

"Losing her any way would be horrible..." He paused, "Well, I caught up with John at school once, and when I asked him about it he sort of told me... Everything. He said that your father killed her, and that he was mafioso, that he hated having to do all the stuff you had to do."

John betrayed us. I didn't like the thought, and it felt wrong and bitter, but he had. It had no consequences, other than protection really, but he broke the rules.

"After that, I knew I had to help protect you both, I wanted you guys to be okay so badly. John trusted me and he started to talk to me a lot more, and we got pretty close. You wouldn't know it, but I fell for him, hard. He was everything good, even though he had such a bad role to play. Then when you got called out and he protected you... It was... I voted innocent, I didn't even think about it. It didn't matter in the end anyway, and I had to go up on that podium, and pull the lever."

The room was frozen in time, and I had no response to anything he was saying other than the pain in my chest.

"I had to kill him. The guilt is overwhelming, and I can't help but think about it all the time. I knew I had to find a way to submit and join you. I caused you so much pain, I took your brother from you, and now all I want to do it help. I'm sorry."

"You pulled the lever, and I voted guilty. We're as bad as each other, but I had a choice and you didn't... Anthony, please listen to me now." He looked at me expectantly as I spoke again, "Run. Go as far and as fast as you can. I will tear up your contract and you can get out of here. More and more people are getting out, and I think you should too."

"I have a role to play here, just as you do. I wont run, if the mafia falls, I will fall with you. We're friends, and we will win this game together, or we will fail together."

I smiled at him, the first genuine smile in years, "Thank you. It's like the old days, except without Steven."

"Has Steven submitted?" It was an interesting idea.

"No, should I try and persuade him?"

"No, I'll try first. It's too big a risk for you to open up to him. Just do what you need to do, and try to get some others."

"Can I kill?"

"Do whatever you need to do."