The Familia. (ZeRoyalChaos TOS fanfiction)

Gag Reel Fun!

How many jokes would the actors make on the set of the film? How often would they drop the script because of the perfect opportunity to say something funny? The answer is often, very often.

-

Chilled lays on the floor, dazed, Max stands over him threateningly. The famous smirk appears, and with a stuttered giggle he says:

"Never thought you'd be the type to sleep around, Chilly Willy, you must take after your mother."

The whole cast starts laughing and Chilled acts hurt for a minute before - CUT.

-

Max walks up to the bedroom door, and knocks.

"Knock, knock." There's the telltale grin.

"Who's there?" Chilled huffs.

"Not your parents."

Pained laughter fills the studio - CUT.

-

Chilled is pinning the traitor to the wall.

"You're a dishonour to us all."

The traitor cowers, "I'm sorry father don't hit me!"

Chilled lets go of him and crumbles, unable to breathe between laughs - CUT.

-

Chilled kills the traitor, and his limp body drops. The camera zooms in on Chilled's face.

"A proud man, never begs."

The camera starts to pan out.

"I'm on a horse."

The camera man laughs and the camera jogs up and down violently- CUT.

-

Chilled is using his hands to frame his face, dancing like an idiot while the rest of the cast watch, giggling. He starts to frame his legs and show off his butt. Max jogs into the studio, and witnesses this, seeing the perfect moment.

"You can try, but you'll never be the whore your mother was."

The giggles turn into full blown cackles - CUT.

-

The cast sit in their chairs, each of them vouching for their characters. Chilled is boasting about the sheer power of his Familia when Max buts in.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, your Familia is pathetic, and so are you."

Chilled starts to complain, but the others praise Max- CUT.

-

Chilled is standing at the snack table in the studio, he turns to Max.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Max thinks for a moment and replies:

"Because he thought his parents were there?"

Chilled stomps his foot on the ground, complaining - CUT.

-

Chilled is wandering about on set just prior to a scene being filmed. His shirt is covered in blood, and Max enters the set wearing clean clothes.

"Your shirt's all bloody... Why don't you slip into something more comfortable?"

Chilled goes to respond, but Max beats him to it.

"Like a coma."

The rest of the crew laugh as Chilled pouts- CUT.

-

Max presents incriminating evidence to Chilled.

"That's just a useless coincidence."

"Kinda like your birth then."

The room erupts into laughter and Chilled goes to kick Max - CUT.

-

Max and Chilled are being interviewed. The interviewer asks about the crazy antics and jokes on set. Max turns to Chilled with a massive grin.

Chilled starts to sit up. "No, Max, stop. Not more of the jokes, God, please."

Max protests. "No, no, these ones are good. They're about his character, ready?"

The interviewer nods.

"What's the difference between him and a cold blooded murder?"

"What?"

"The murder was intentional."

The interviewer giggles, and tries to move on.

"Hang on, I've got another. Ready? He's one in a million.. One of the only two to survive the abortions!"

Chilled stands up and walks out of the room - CUT.

-

Chilled holds the gun trained on Max's head.

His voice turns cold. "You've made a mistake, making enemies with the God Father."

"If you want to talk about mistakes-" He starts. "It can never be as bad as the ones your parents made."

Chilled pretends to shoot and throws the gun down in mock rage, whilst shaking his head laughing- CUT.

-

Laura lays on the ground in the shed set, she's doused in fake blood. Chilled leans over her, close to tears. She becomes visibly weaker, taking in a raspy breath to speak.

"One last thing Chilled..."

"What is it?"

"I... I see dead people."

Chilled breaks character, falling backwards from the crouch and - CUT.

-

That's it folks, all of the bloopers from the set of The Familia.

(All jokes written by IMSO_ORIGINALWOW)

The style is a bit odd, and I've put off posting this for months, but here, enjoy.