The Familia. (ZeRoyalChaos TOS fanfiction)

And now I'm found.

The lights were off and Max and Steven seemed to be asleep. Ignoring this completely I broke in the back door as quietly as possible, and crept up the stairs seemingly unnoticed. All I could think of was Ze in my arms, talking with me as I drift off to sleep, actually falling asleep for once. Each creek of the floor set me on edge, Steven waking up was not a problem, I'd quietly explain and things would be fine. Max waking up was not so easy to deal with, and so I continued to sneak through the darkened house. The door to Steven's room wasn't closed, and it projected a pale blue light that was eerily familiar.

The scene of Steven tangled in a mess of sheets underneath the large window was all too recognisable. This was almost a mirror image of my nightmare, and it clouded my mind with worry. What if it wasn't a nightmare, but more of a premonition? Would Steven really blame me for Max's actions? What does he even think of me?

You never stopped to ask, and now you're too far gone to back out. Deal with it.

He loves you, he loves you not.

Taking a deep breath I stepped inside his room and silently closed the door behind me. For a moment I rested there, holding my eyes closed, wishing for the best and playing out a million different scenarios in my mind.

"Ze?" I whispered gently, trying to not wake him, grabbing for a final excuse to flee. All the dead said to do this, they said that I can do this. Without the pressure from my father I have the option to do this, and now I'm scared of doing it.

Obviously he was a light sleeper, because my voice roused him. Slowly he dragged himself into a sitting position, and rubbed his eyes. He'd heard something, but he didn't know what. These are my last few seconds to run. The hesitation and anxiety overwhelm me, and I close my fist around the door knob, but Ze catches the movement through his lidded eyes.

Suddenly fully awake he looks at me in shock, "Chilled, what the fuck?" It's a hushed shout, and he sounds confused, but also angry.

"I uh- Well, I- Shit- Um, I can explain-" I'm a babbling mess, and Ze softens with pity. He can feel my awkward atmosphere.

"Keep it down and come closer. I'm not sure why you're here, but I don't want you leaving with some sort of injury from Max." He gestures for me to approach him, and I feel tense as I do so, kneeling at the side of his bed. Looking down at me the light catches his face and amplifies his beauty. Every inch of him is irresistible, because there's something about him. The adorable little curls, the red nose, the honest and loving eyes, his smile. It makes me wonder what he could ever see in me.

"Why do you trust me? I could be here to kill you."

He rolls his eyes at me, "You couldn't, you love me too much." Then he gestures to the gun on his bedside table.

The statement is a joke, but it makes me blush. He is entirely right, which shows how he is my real weakness.

"Ze, can we be serious?" I ask, and he nods. "I came here with intentions, and yet no idea of how to achieve them... I realise that I'm just going to have to confess a lot of things and wait for your response, and it frightens me. Any commitment I make puts everything at risk, and I'm so very scared."

His hand touches my bare arm and it sends shivers down my spine. Simple contact from him both settles me and unsettles me. When I feel the warmth he radiates onto me I am assured that I have always loved him, that this is a permanent fact. Then my heart starts to race, because he never really suggested that he feels this way too, and I could lose him by saying anything.