Entropy (Tech x oc)

24

Apparently, we were going back to SIDS place. I find it ridiculous that they were relying so much souly on that sarcastic ass lizard, but I suppose you have to do what you have to do.

I recall even having an argument with Hunter over it, but Echo was luckily there to break it up. Honestly, not sure what would have happened if it would have continued to escalate — not anything good, I can assure you.

Now I stood on my bunk, a holographic com in my trembling hands.

"Obi-Wan." I greet my old master once his for, comes through; a little glitchy, but there. He was smiling fondly at me, his bearded face nearly completely hidden by the shadow his hood cast over it.

"Theodosia." He greeted back, his voice calm and collected as usual. It also was very analytical, proving he was examining me; my appearance, emotional state, trying to connect with em through the force and see my force signature... he wanted to see my well being, and I suppose I should be grateful.

"What did you com me about?" 

Obi-Wan sighed, his tensed shoulders slowly relaxing the more we accented into a tense silence. At least, it was tense for me — the uncertainty surrounding this com connection was a little odd. I knew he wouldn't call just for any reason, it was too risky.

"Ahsoka commed me a few days back..."

My interest is piqued at the sound of my best friends name, and I instantly glance back at him; his cloak now fallen off his face, revealing his once shaven beard to now be overgrown and gruff.

"She said she found a temple."

I raise a brow.

What significance does a temple have to her? She left the Jedi order and quite frankly, she had no interest in rebuilding it. She did wish for the security and fairness of the republic to return, but not so much the Jedi order that was foiled and tainted by unorthodox, outdated principles.

"What relevance does that have to me?"

Obi-Wan eyes her for a moment, thinking over her comment.

"It's a Gray-Jedi temple."

Now this, this was relevant to me. I had spent a good chunk of the time after order 66 searching for any traces of the gray Jedi; but they seemed invisible, as if they didn't exist. I searched everywhere; multiple planets, I followed leads, I even looked over gaps in history that could be filled in with the mysterious group, but alas, I found nothing.

I felt a little frustration boil up inside of me; annoyance that Ahsoka could so flawlessly find what I searched forever for, most likely not even on purpose — but that was Ahsoka for you. Always perfect. Always flawless. Always astonishing to anyone, especially me.

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"How long ago was this?" I ask, biting back my irritation. I felt like an agitated mother, irritated with her children... but I was tired. Emotionally drained.

Ever the war started I haven't caught a break. Before the war, Jedi younglings were fought the history and peace that we were meant to uphold, but as the war started, lightsaber combat became more and more favored. Violence became more and more favored.

And once the war started, it was battle after battle... no real breaks. I enjoyed fighting yes, but it wasn't what I wanted. It was always droids I had to kill, until it wasn't. I enjoyed what I did, until I didn't.

I was a tool, used for my force abilities

And it was like that throughout the war. I was just a teenager, forced into something not even an adult should have to go through, let alone a confused little soul with a still growing brain that is going through the most important stage of her life.

And then I left the order when k had enough, and it didn't even end then.

And then the bad batch took me in. K had a moment of security, but it didn't last.

The war ended, but not in the way anyone would have liked. The execution fo the Jedi brought the republic down, crushed any qualms of saving it.

And ever since that dreadful day were the order was uttered from the wrinkled lips, I have suffered more than I ever did before, even if I had dealt with so much already. I shoved down memories of the past, of the war and swallowed them whole, praying they wouldn't force themselves back up my throat and into my eyesight. I forgot about my best friends death. I forgot about the crushes I once had. I forgot about weakness, I forgot about happiness.

My only goal was to stay alive; the most basic goal that everyone had a right to not even being accomplished. It took a great task on me just to do the most basic thing in existence.

Exist.

And that was the horrible truth. I was emotionally drained. I was done with everything and I wished I could just take a long, tropical vacation on Naboo.

But it couldn't happen, it never would.

"Not long. She just commed me. It was shard to get the message through, but I got the planet and coordinates. She wanted you to meet her there; she wished to investigate with you. Uncover the great secrets." Obi-Wan stroked his beard in thought.

"I don't know, we are heading-"

"Don't tell me, possible deniability." Obi-Wan interjected, causing me to frown.

"I wish we didn't have to hide our presences even from eachother."

Obi-Wan returned her frown.

"Me too, but these are dire times."

We fell into a heavy silence, the air heavy and weighing down on our shoulders. The weight of our reality a taking a toll on the both of us, rather it took physical forms or not, we both really just wished we could see each other again.

"Will you be going?" Obi-Wan finally asked, cutting through the silence. I wanted nothing more than to say no. As much as I missed Ahsoka, I was done fighting for the galaxy. I have been selfless most of my life and it hasn't gotten me anywhere, I was ready to be selfish. Granted, I was selfish one time, when I left the order, but was it really? Fighting for something you consider wrong, wouldn't leaving be consider the brave thing to do?

"I'll think about it."