WHEN THE SEA IS ROUGH (ill hearts 2)

9

Eunbi

Waking up to find Jungkook gone again made me want to bawl my eyes out. Freezing in the heated room, and under the covers, I wanted to go back to sleep, and wake up from this nightmare. After reaching a point of desperation for the past three weeks to be a fucking dream, a hidden camera, everything but the actual reality I had to survive, I didn't know how to push through.

The last night made me question myself, whether I was really in the wrong for seeing Yoongi. I was only searching for comfort with someone who understood me, and no accusations Jungkook threw around were true. Me and Yoongi where nothing compare to him and Jiah, yet he made a point to compare it and put the blame on me.

It also made me question Jungkook, how fast he was swooned by another 'thing that could improve his career'. That's how he called everything that slowly exhausted our relationship. I was close to happy tears when he texted me about a trip to Busan. I grinned at Yoongi, showing him that maybe everything is not lost. And then, an hour and a half later, I cried, back at his table after Jungkook never showed up to pick me up. No matter what Jungkook said, what he promised, his actions were the loudest to confirm that he was quickly losing interest in me.

Waking up alone was one punch. Another one was Jungkook not picking up my calls, again. Not one time, not one day, but for two days straight. He was gone, and showed no signs of being anywhere. I couldn't work, couldn't swallow a piece of food, waiting for him to show a sign of life.

On the third day of Jungkook acting dead (which I prayed not to be the actual thing), I went to his club. If he was not going to give me an answer, I had to find it. I did have a feeling he was alright, and was just avoiding the responsibility for the physical torture of our last argument. Or he was working. It wasn't hard to come up with things Jungkook could be doing at the time.

"Good morning," I said, louder to be heard over the sound of grunts and punches across the room full of sweaty boys and men.

"Eunbi?" Jimin was the first one to notice, making Yoongi and their coach pause. All of them panting, in the middle of a training session. No sight of Jungkook which made my stomach twist.

Jimin showed me to come closer, so I passed through the room while the three of them got off the ring to meet me halfway.

"Hey, long time no see!" their coach grinned, opening his arms to hug me. I scrunched my nose, but he didn't give a damn about covering me in sweat as he patted my head with a heavy, red glove.

"Right, it's been a while." I forced out a chuckle. Wrapped in a layer of anxiety, giving any positive reaction was challenging.

"What brings you here?" Jimin asked. "Jungkook's not here."

"Yeah, that's what brings me here," I mumbled. Admitting that I had no idea where my boyfriend was, was humiliating. "Do you... know where he is?" I asked, not daring to look into their eyes.

"Didn't he tell you?" Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows, looking like he could beat up my boyfriend the moment he'd see him. "Three days ago he went to Hong Kong for a week. For some sort of campaign, meetings. You know... that kind of... thing..." he trailed off, probably realizing I was a moment before giving up on everything.

"Who's with him?" I asked. Yoongi didn't answer, not wanting to be the one to say it, as he was almost up to date with what was happening.

"His manager," the coach said, and I had to clench my teeth, my eyes settling on the black floor.

He left to Hong Kong for a week, didn't tell me a thing, and didn't answer a single call. He went to Hong Kong for a week, with Jiah "as his manager", and wanted me to keep believing that if it wasn't for me, everything would have been alright.