WHEN THE SEA IS ROUGH (ill hearts 2)

21

Jungkook

I wasn't going to leave it without fixing the damage I caused. I wasn't going to give up on the only thing without which my life had no point. And I wasn't going to give up because we loved each other. Despite everything, we still loved each other, and no strength in the world could break it.

That one day with Jimin and Yoongi made me realize just how pointless everything was without love, and one conversation with Yoongi made me realize that I was only going to give up on us if she stopped loving me. As long as there was love, and I knew there was, I was going to keep walking.

I made mistakes I had yet to forgive myself for, but mistakes could either break us, or make us stronger. Make me better. Why would I let go, if I had the power to fix something worth fighting for?

My phone rang that morning, and I almost tripped. I was still foolishly hoping someone would call me after two weeks to tell me that they lied to me and Eunbi was actually with them. But when the screen displayed "Paul", my rush of excitement evaporated. Paul didn't even know Eunbi, so I had literally zero chances of hearing some good news from him.

"Yeah? Hello?"

"Jungkook! Glad you picked up!" He smiled into the phone. "I have a great offer for you!"

"Really? What is it?" I asked, forcing some curiosity into my voice, but I knew I wasn't going to like it.

"How about a world tour?"

"W-world tour? What?"

"Look, we would travel around the world. You'd put up a show in a few places, teach some kids, take some pictures, talk about your fights-"

"Listen, Paul." I didn't need to hear more to know the answer. "I'm sure it would be fun, but... but I won't do it. And... thanks for your time and effort, but... I won't be training for a while now. I'm taking a break. I don't know when I'd be coming back to boxing. I'll work out some contact termination soon. Have a good day."

I wasn't going to change my mind. I was going to take a step back. I was going to find Eunbi, and, if she'd agree to take me back, give her everything I had. I couldn't let go of her, but I couldn't go back to how it was, either. Everything needed to improve. She deserved better than what I showed in the previous two months. I wasn't going to let them overpower our five years together.

But for that I needed to know where she was... I understood why she was staying away from me, but having no opportunity to explain anything to her was suffocating.

Yoongi: that little monster wants to see you

Jungkook: only Sarang? :(

Yoongi: yes

Yoongi: now come over

Jungkook: only when you say you want me to

Yoongi: yes, Jungkook, I dream of having you around

Spending time with someone, anyone, distracted me well, giving me a couple hours away from my phone. My speech for Eunbi was ready, and I was ready to have this conversation, but it was still pending, for as long as she distanced herself.

I was myself again. The part of me I overshadowed with money was back, well aware of my mistakes. And without a loud chase after the meaningless, days without Eunbi were a bit too cold.

A bag of snacks for Sarang accompanied me, but I arrived to a strangely quiet house.

"It's me!" I closed the door, slipping my shoes off as something rustled in the living room. With a chest heavy from uncertainty, I walked further in to have my heart take a break from working.