WHEN THE SEA IS ROUGH (ill hearts 2)

19

Jungkook

I was not doing well without her. I was nowhere near doing alright, and my life became my phone and me, growing roots on the couch. I searched for her everywhere I could, and the response never differed - 'no, she's not here'. I would place a bet she was somewhere I already called and went, but she asked them to kick me out. Eunbi also took a break from work - as her employees said. I wasn't surprised she needed time to rest. It took me too long to realize how much I hurt her in the past two months, and how exhausting the uncertainty must have been for her.

I put it through my head that someone would eventually call me, and tell me where she was. It was me, my phone, and time. For the most of it, I had no will to fill with the free hours with anything. I tried. I was a single. I was on a break from my career. I thought of things to do, more or less productive, but nothing was able to pull me out of the house.

Until, one week after the break-up, my door creaked in the morning, Jimin and Yoongi letting themselves in. I wanted to go and greet them, but I couldn't. I had an unbreakable physical blockage from doing a lot of things.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Yoongi asked, as they walked into the living room.

"Waiting," I said after giving a shrug.

"How's your face?" Jimin asked, and I let out a light scoff.

I turned my head to look at him. "Healed, don't worry."

We met one week ago, and before anyone said anything, his fist was on my nose. Well deserved. Sometimes solving problems with my boxer friends was the easiest thing in the world. He hit me one more time, when I wanted to apologize, and before the third Yoongi grabbed his arm, saying it was enough. I didn't say that he should've knocked me out and send me to the ER, but only because being arguing with Yoongi wasn't a pleasant option to go for.

After that, me and Jimin spent two hours talking, and it seemed like we were alright. Way better than in the past two months.

"You've been on this phone without a break. You need to relax, man," Yoongi said, as he sat on my right, Jimin on my left.

"I'm relaxed," I said.

Jimin pointed to my fingers clustered together, white-knuckled, and mumbled, "Yeah, very."

I let out a sigh, releasing my palms and letting them fall to my sides. "I can't do anything else, okay? I... can't."

"Are you at least eating?"

"Kinda..."

I could almost hear Yoongi rolling his eyes at me. "You will rot."

"And?" I huffed out something similar to a chuckle, settling my eyes on an aimless spot on the ceiling.

"Stop being so depressingly depressive." Jimin sighed, standing in front of me to put his arms on my shoulders. "Let's go out. A men's day. How about it?"

"I don't feel like doing anything," I said, dragging my eyes to him.

"Jungkook, you can't just sit here and wait for her," Yoongi said. "Your life is still going on."

"And it's pointless," I said, once again losing eye-contact with them. It was hard to make a conversation, to be present, to listen to them.

"She will come back," he added, and I looked at him for the first time since they came.

"Did she tell you that?"

He shook his head. "But I know she will. Promise."

"You can't promise." I scoffed, unintentionally. I didn't want to be an asshole again, but this false hope was choking my heart.