WHEN THE SEA IS ROUGH (ill hearts 2)

12

Jungkook

Out of sight, out of heart. When I didn't see her hurt in any way, when all I saw and heard was screaming, it wasn't as vivid as when I saw her crying. I had to intervene, to stop this from spreading like a plague.

I tried to fire Jiah. I did, in Hong Kong when she came to my hotel room at midnight. I kicked her out of my room, but she repeated what she said when we were in Japan. Go against me, and I will ruin your career. Not the exact words, but the exact meaning. She gave up then, but I feared what was there to come.

I could have a ruined career or a ruined relationship. Career I worked for since I was a kid, in a field I was passionate about. Relationship I cherished beyond everything in this world. My role as her boyfriend was equally as important to me as my role as a boxer.

Whatever was going to happen, I had to make sure I lost neither. I had to make sure both were moving forward, and not dragging the other down. I didn't want to admit that I was in the wrong, I didn't even want to notice that I was, but it seemed that without it, I wasn't going to fix anything between me and Eunbi. Admitting I was wrong meant firing Jiah who was increasing my paychecks like it was a mobile game.

I walked into the club twenty minutes before practice. I was supposed to meet my new coach that day, and I wanted to get ready early. As I crossed the hall, reaching the lockers, the door to our room was wide open. I was about to walk in, thinking there was no one inside, but I didn't. I paused when I hear Yoongi's voice.

"It shouldn't have happened at all. I feel like the worst dickhead in the world," he said, sounding tense and panicky. I knew how much time he was spending with Eunbi at the time, and my instinct was to eavesdrop.

"Okay, but it didn't happen because you wanted it, right?" Jimin asked, trying to be reassuring. I leaned against the wall, and it saved me from collapsing to the ground when he answered.

"Of course not. Why the fuck would I want to kiss Eunbi?"

My body froze, numb for a few moments, before a wave of heat made it hard for me to breath. The longer she was seeing him, he more wary I grew of their friendship. I never expected he would do something like this. Even though it was a fear tagging along behind me all the time, I didn't think it was possible. I claimed it to be irrational, and pushed it away.

"It was a slip up, you are both not doing well," Jimin said. "And you know it was wrong."

"Yes, but it shouldn't have happened at all." Yoongi whined, and he was right. "I literally have a child, a wife. Fuck Jimin. I feel so stupid. It's my fault. I started it. It was, like, one second, and barely anything, but it was my fault. I just felt bad for her and how he treated her, and I felt lonely after Sora left with Sarang again, and- fuck, I'm so dumb."

He kissed her first. Probably well aware of our relationship stepping on thin ice. Apparently not only mine, but his, too. My fists curled, and I could barely keep my feet planted to the ground. More heat washed over me, and I wanted to beat the shit out of him. For the first time in my life, I felt like I could hate him. For as long as I knew him, Yoongi was someone I highly respected, and valued as a friend. But as I stood there, I didn't know how I was going to look him in the eyes.

"You talked it out, right?" Jimin asked.

"Of course we did. And about why it will never happen again. And I should apologize to Jungkook, but I can't let him know now. Not when they are already struggling."

Something about the last sentence he said reminded me of all the arguments we went through in the past few weeks, and how each had an exclusive Jiah corner to it. Every single time Eunbi expressed how displeased she was with Jiah working for me. How she trusted me, but not Jiah. How she was afraid I'd be seduced.