WHEN THE SEA IS ROUGH (ill hearts 2)

18

Jungkook

The one definite thing I came up with during the night in Busan was to take a break. From boxing, from career, from earning money. To take a break from the life I knew. Everything else rushed through my head to give me a sleepless night. I was running on adrenaline, and refilled caffeine, otherwise I would have never driven five hours, back to Seoul, after getting no sleep.

I came back to the empty, quiet house, and it made me feel like I'd never been there. It wasn't the first time I'd come home before Eunbi, but I always knew she'd be back later. Not this time.

I wanted to crash on the bed after taking a long, boiling hot shower, but our bed suddenly felt foreign. I didn't want to go to sleep, not alone. I looked into the wardrobe instead, bringing myself even lower when I realized it held nothing but my clothes. It took away my breath for a moment, and pulled me into longing so strong that I was out of the house in two minutes.

I thought she'd stay with Yoongi. That was my first guess, so I went there before I got to remind myself why I shouldn't have done that. I should have let her be, but she was the only person my heart was capable of loving, and I couldn't just give up. Maybe one day I'd know for sure that it was time to let go. But not yet.

Only when I knocked, and the door opened, I realized what I did. Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows as it was our first interaction since, well, I aimed to beat the shit out of him. "What are you doing here?"

But I wasn't thinking about us then. I was in a bewildered trance, not knowing anything but a desperate need to find her, see her. "She's not here, is she?" I asked, and his expression softened. He looked at me for a moment, as if trying to read me, but then shook his head.

"She's not. But she's safe. Don't worry."

I was about to leave, but my feet were glued to the ground. After all, the last time we saw each other wasn't a pleasant memory. I gave it a moment of silence, leaving my pride out of it, and for the first time admitting out loud that I was the cause of the mess. "I'm sorry. You know... for punching you. And saying all this shit. And just... being a shitty friend for a while."

Yoongi pressed his lips together, and took a step back. "Come in. We have stuff to talk about."

He wasn't alone in the house. Sora was with Sarang in the living room, playing with a bunch of wooden and plush toys, as I interrupted a family moment.

"Who's that, Yoongi?" she asked, right before we entered the room. Last time she saw me, I punched her husband, so she was hesitant to greet me. Still did, but keeping her voice quiet. "Oh, hey Jungkook."

I made a hell of a mess in my life...

"Hi," I said, avoiding eye contact with everyone, until Sarang dropped all she was doing and crawled to my feet, trying to climb up at me. I picked her up, like I normally would before. Yoongi always said she liked me, and that explained why me visiting Yoongi was usually me visiting Sarang, with Yoongi somewhere in the background. "Hey, little. You missed your favorite uncle, didn't you?"

She swung her arms back, and I shut my eyes tight when she threw them at my face, laughing out loud right after. I laughed, too, finding it amusing how easy solving problems must have been for children. "You're daddy's little protector, aren't you? You're right, I deserved it."

"Can you take Sarang upstairs? We'll have... a talk," Yoongi said, looking at his wife.

"Yeah, sure," she said, picking up Sarang. "Uncle will play with you later, okay?" Sora told her, when she frowned and tried to get back to me. "Boys will have their boys' time so let's have our girls' time, shall we?"