Today, I Decided To Forgive Myself

Chapter fourty-three

Cнapтer 43; donт cry lιттle doll
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Darkness ensued with just the clock of the door closing and the lock turning.
And she was left alone in an endless cave of existence that the girl was molded to endure.

The girl put her back against the door and slid down, using the door as support to keep herself from crying. Stuck. Stuck is the only way she was able to describe it.

And that feeling of being stuck made the room cold and frigid feeling. The solid mass of ice was placed atop her chest. Hundreds of thousands of pounds of weight atop her heart made it hard for it to beat normally and without effort.

But she still forced her frozen shut eyelids to crack open as she waited for something to happen. Except, the broken girl doesn't know what that something is.

•••
It felt like hours before I hear the footsteps slowly coming down the hallway towards me. I don't know how long it's been or how long I've been sitting here for my knees to turn numb. My hands just start shaking from holding my weight up to keep myself from falling to the ground completely. I can't hear anything aside from the mumblings of what I think are words.

"What do you think of my gorgeous painting? A lowly merchant was selling it and I just had to buy it!"

"Why do you have this? How is this even possible...?" My breath comes out in a whisper and I almost choke on the salt of my tears.

"Don't cry! Just look how beautiful you look in it!" I'm in shock and a sick and twisted sense of awe fills me. I don't understand how it's possible.

"Why?"

"What do you mean why? I just told you! It's beautiful!" Her smirk is malicious with its intent and it curdles my blood.

"How can this exist?" The devastation and grief shows plainly on my face, I can tell because my hands move upwards to hold my cheeks.

" The merchant said the painting was a tale of prophecy," her smile doesn't leave her face and somehow the cruelty shines ever brighter. ", I won't tell you any more until you help me. Think of it as an exchange."

I sit on the floor, and my body grows cold and tired. My bones settle and become brittle with the passage of time. It feels as if I sit there for 100 years in the same position and yet what pass could only be a mere few minutes. and I am only able to manage one word, "Okay."

What is my powerless person able to do in the face of such a powerful adversary. I am merely a doll for the pleasure of others. My lives that I have lived have proved over and over as such. I try to break the cycle and it doesn't. Nothing changes. I feel as if my world is constantly changing yet it always stays the same. Over and over, over and over, unchanging forever.

Fighting seems futile. There is never any point to it. Or anything I can do to change the outcome.

"Then get up. Let's get you in some nice clothes for bed."

I am pulled to my feet. They are numb though, so I stumble as a take my first few steps. I am then dragged back up the same hallway I just came down. We finally reach reach a door made of dark wood. The golden knob beckons me to turn it. I'm so tired.