Today, I Decided To Forgive Myself

Chapter seven

Cнapтer 7; And Ѕo, Lιғe Нad Ғιnally Learned Тo Accepт Deaтн
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The girl sat lonely at her assigned seat. Though next to her fiancé she was still lonely after finding the glaringly obvious love Laurent had for his chosen partner for his birthday party.

Davina, she thought. What a gorgeous name, I wish I was like her.

She wanted to escape her situation, and rightfully so. Because the predator had already locked his eyes on his next prey. Already having sharpened his bloody teeth, and claws.

The disgusting man spoke to the broken girl after already found all of her weaknesses.
"My sweet Asterin, your hands are so beautiful. The color of a snowy winter day."

The girl chose not to pull away, despite his dampened and cold touch. Despite her already deep rooted knowledge that he only wants to use her as a sacrifice. She still wanted to like him. it's the first she had ever heard such sweet words said to her.

•••
"Veles will do just fine, Asterin." His smirk makes me want to inflict a tremendous amount of hurt upon him. Smug ugly, slimy bastard. I cringe from his fake tone.
I know he catches it because his false politeness falters, then quickly fixes itself.

"Prince Veles, it's improper for any man, aside my fiancé, to call upon me using such an intimate name." I correct him angrily. Still keeping it cordial, for now anyway.

"I apologize M'lady. But, Lady Clive, now I believe it's time to seat ourselves for the kings speech." He bows in an apologetic manner, however I know this is also fake by the look in his eyes when he stares at me. He looks into my soul with a cold glare. Despite the courteous actions portrayed.

I stop myself from trembling at his known intentions for the future to come. I keep the fear locked in its cage; now isn't the time, I remind myself. You have a plan to execute. A plan to escape from everything this time. A way to become fully my own person. I want to sigh. Surviving is so utterly exhausting.

I smirk in his direction. Making eye contact to further my ambitions.
"Of course Prince Velez. Though after, I do believe you owe me a dance."

He turns surprised at my forwardness. I move to a seat beside my so called fiancé and elegantly sit. Although with Davina on the other side of him sticking to his arm like a leech. I could almost laugh if I cared about the pitiful display.

However I notice Prince Laurence seems to care about my stare. Almost as if he is unnerved by my taking notice of the couple. I sneer visibly at him and cross my arms away from him, turning in my seat.

"Bastard.." I wispher under my breath. Enough for him to audibly know my distaste.

I know I'm being childish but when one goes through as many lifetimes of betrayal as I have you gain the right to be a tad child like in your behavior.

I smirk when I hear his sigh at my direct refusal to acknowledge the couple.

Once the crowds noise settles to quiet murmurs I uncross my arms and delicately face the kings table. A pompous and also childish man. With grubby and greedy intentions to add into the mans tiresome personality.

"I am so happy that everyone could make it to my sons birthday this fine evening!"

I snort inaudibly. I receive a glare from the noble woman next to me along with her partner. I glare back even more viciously. My gold eyes perform perfectly along with my villainous acts. The woman and her partner cower at my vicious display.
I ignore any further negative attitudes towards me.

"This is such a joyous occasion! I can't even believe that it's almost time for my son to become the man he was born to be!" I find myself wanting to retort back on all the horrible things Prince Laurent has done, I restrain myself flawlessly, however.

"I hope every guest here will enjoy tonight's festivities!"

I roll my eyes, always the doting father aren't you king Sevren?

As the king finishes his ending statement Prince Veles makes contact with my hand and I snap.
I grab the fork closest to me and slam the utensil dead center into his lowlife hand.

I know first hand how painful an object that isn't very sharp can cause. I almost tremble in memory of being stabbed all over my legs multiple times, with slightly sharpened rocks. I reminisce in the burning feeling traveling over my skin as he branded me.

Holding the fork in place still, he yowls in agony, as I grasp onto the neckline of his silk shirt. Gold meets brown. I know I scare him because he doesn't try to pull away, he freezes in place. I mutter quietly into his ear. "If you attempt to touch me one more time, I'll hollow your stomach out and make you watch as I nail your limbs to the ground, and leave you for the bugs to consume your body. But not before feeding you your intestines. Okay?"

I had planned to use him to gain a deal for my freedom but... I'm done with being used and abused. I'm tired of it all. Ill gain my happiness the hard way.
Because the immense fulfillment felt from doing something to cause pain to someone of who's hurt me so much, is immeasurable. The assaults and the schemes I was forced to involve myself in, the physical and mental torture, the exhaustion I experienced.

All the rage and sorrow I've held under the waters want to rush forth out through the dam I spent years building. The fear in his eyes causes my mania to cackle.

Although, unfortunately I guess stabbing royalty is not allowed because I am seized by the guards and pulled away from the prince. Huh, I hadn't even noticed the commotion I had caused my environment. They restrain me harshly, leaving finger marks in my upper arms skin. I don't wince or cringe even a little. I've gone through more suffering than probably a normal person could handle. All pain is controlled by your mentality. Eventually I forgot what it's like to feel any warmth that doesn't burn the deepest layer of my skin.

But this time, this life.. It's okay if I borrow the devils smile for a short time, right?