I made this one extra long for not updating in a while
Characters: America, Germany, Russia, Canada, Poland
America: Ghosts are fake, like the Moon, or women named Barbara.
Germany: I'm not sure which part of that I want to pick apart first.
~~~
Russia: Зто все твоя вина.
America: I know, I know.
Canada: Wait, I didn't know you spoke Russian.
America: I don't.
America: I just know the phrase "this is all your fault" in every language.
~~~
Germany: Time has left me a sad and lonely man. *hears knock, opens door* Who are you?
Poland: I'm the sad and lonely man time has left you.
Germany: I don't get it.
Poland: It's a joke, you sad little man.
~~~
Poland: Why are you ignoring Russia?
America: I'm playing hard to get.
Germany: Why would you do that? You're already hard to want.
~~~
America: Just so everyone knows: don't ever try to climb a tree at night while carrying a strobe light. Owls don't like it.
Germany: What happened?
America: I made a very bad mistake.
~~~
Canada: America has no survival instincts. I think he was just built without them.
Poland: That can't be true-
Russia: No, he's right. Watch this.
Russia: Hey, America! Race you downstairs!
America: *jumps out a tenth-story window*
~~~
Germany: sometimes i feel like i don't fit anywhere
Poland: what do you mean?
Poland: you fit right in my arms
Germany: :')
~~~
America: i wrote a poem
Russia: good for you
America: wanna hear it?
Russia: not reall-
America: roses are red, violets are blue. blood is red, and i'm pretty sure mercury is too
Russia: can i offer some advice
America: yeah
Russia: it sucks
~~~
Germany: you fainted, do you remember anything?
America: only the ambulance ride to the hospital
Germany: that wasn't an ambulance, i drove you
America: but i heard a siren
Germany: that was Canada
Canada: sorry, i panicked
~~~
Poland: i brought reinforcements
Germany: you brought Russia?
Poland: um, no. I brought the next best thing.
*Canada walks in*
German: you brought Canada? The next best think would have been America!
Canada: normally I would be offended but that man is freakishly strong
~~~
America: you know Russia, im jealous of you
Russia: why?
America: your boyfriend is so much hotter than mine.
Russia: oh.
America: *starts to walks away*
Russia: wait. You're my boyfriend
Russia: СУКА БЛАТЬ AMERICA COME BACK
~~~
Germany: Why are you like this?
America: Like what? Charming? Devastatingly Handsome? Genius? You'll have to be more specific.
Russia: *deadpans* An asshole.
~~~
America: You're the fries at the bottom of a mcdonald's bag.
America: Maybe you go unnoticed at first, but someone's always thrilled to see you.
Russia: or you just get forgotten about and get thrown away.
America:
~~~
Canada: okay guys, we have to start thinking straight.
America:
America: how
~~~
Poland: Germany, you..
Germany: I?
Poland: uhm.. y-you..
Germany: I what?
Poland, really nervous: you make my heart have premature ventricular contractions!
Germany:
Canada, from a distance: he meant you make his heart skip a beat
~~~
America on his wedding day: you still like me right?
~~~
Poland: You can't love someone unless you love yourself first.
Germany: Schiße. I have never loved myself. But you, oh god, I loved you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like
~~~
America: Last night I got asked out by not one, not two, but zero people
~~~
America: My nightly routine makes me 10 times hotter.
Russia: 10 times 0 is still 0
America:
America: okay that's just rude.
~~~
America: Really, Canada, there was no harm done.
Canada: They broke seven of your ribs and fractured your clavicle
America: Yeah, but I got off several cunning remarks, which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.
Canada: America, this isn't funny.
America: I'm serious, Can-Can! Thanks to you, I'm almost completely healed. But the damage I did to them will last a lifetime.
~~~
Russia: You're kind of annoying.
America: Kind of? Kind of??? Excuse me? Excuse you. I am fully annoying. I am very annoying. There's nothing half-assed half-hearted "kind of" about it.
~~~
"I'm good. I haven't slept in a solid 83 hours, but yeah I'm good."
- Germany, probably at some point
~~~
Canada: Only geniuses can say these words really quickly: eye, yam, stew, peed.
Germany: Oh c'mon. No one's falling for th-
America: IAMSTUPID!
~~~
Poland: What time is it?
Germany, checking his watch: About a quarter til nine.
America: I hate when people say things like "it's a quarter til nine." Just say it's 8:75, you guys are so stupid.
~~~
Poland, about his date with Germany: We went to the beach and tried to find rocks that looked like each other's eyes.
America: Me and Russia would do this and throw rocks at each other trying to see who can knock who unconscious first.
Russia: Winner gets the other person's wallet.
~~~
Russia: Get in the Halloween spirit and make a ghost.
Germany: That's called murder and I heard somewhere that's illegal.
~~~
America, texting Russia: "See you soon, baboon".
America: Wait, wait, spice it up.
America: "See you soon, bitch."
America: Oh god, too spicy, too spicy! Damn! I sent it.
~~~
America: This date is boring.
Russia: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.
America: Then why did you invite me?
Russia: I specifically said "don't come with me" and you said "Fuck you I do whatever I want" and followed me here.
~~~
Germany: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?
America: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?
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Fanfictionyeah uhm.... enjoy some skits, as me and my friends call them. I don't even know what characters are gonna be in here so.... hope it's good! Updates are slow but they will happen!! Also Disclaimer I don't support any of the bad things in this book i...
