Happy Valentine's Day I personally haven't liked it since like 5th grade cuz that's when you would go to school and people would just give you candy
Since then nobody has gotten me candy on Valentine's Day :(
Anyway have some skits while I reminisce about getting free Fun Dip from people I didn't really know—
~~~
Ukraine: so I didn't know what chocolates you liked best, so I got you all of them
Canada: Ukie... there's like 300 boxes here...
Ukraine: I panicked, okay? Valentine's Day is so stressful!
~~~
Germany: Valentine's day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Poland: I wrote you a poem.
Germany, already crying: You did???
~~~
Belarus : Love is dead.
Ukraine: You're literally making a valetines card for New Zealand.
Belarus, pointing glue gun at her: You're on thin fucking ice.
~~~
Portuguese: So, what did you get France for Valentine's day?
British: Oh, well, she likes knives, right?
Portuguese: *a little disappointed* Didn't you get her a knife last year?
British: Oh, I didn't get her a knife.
Portuguese: Then what exactly did you get her?
France: *walking into the room with a sword over her shoulder*
Portuguese: I shouldn't have asked.
~~~
Kazakhstan: Any advice for being single on Valentine's Day?
Belarus: Whenever you see a couple hugging, laughing, or kissing, walk up to one of them and scream, "YOU CHEATER, I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME", then slap them and run away crying. That should be interesting.
~~~
Poland: Will you be my valentine?
Germany: Valentine's Day is a capitalist scam that perpetuates the patriarchal idea of love.
Poland:
Germany: And to answer your question, yes.
~~~
Russia: found out what Valentine's Day is
Russia: disgusting
Russia: ...... where's America I have a gift for him
~~~
Australia: So... Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?
Brazil: Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's February the 14th.
~~~
Kazakhstan: Valentine's Day is bullshit
Kazakhstan: if I don't get something I will probably cry
~~~
North Korea: What if we took away the bro in our bromance?
China:
China: What's a mance?
~~~
Canada: Anything surprising happen today?
New Zealand: Absolutely nothing catches me off guard. I'm—
Belarus, in the distance: *smiles*
New Zealand: *stunned, silent swooning*
New Zealand: ...I'm sorry, what was the question?
~~~
Russia: I'm gonna take you out!
America: it's a date! :D
Russia: I meant that as a threat!
America: pick me up at 6:30 :D
Russia: wait no—
America: make sure to wear something cute! :D
Russia: fUCK
~~~
Russia: Shut up
America: Wow okay
Russia: Wait, not in a mean way
Russia: I mean it lovingly
Russia: Shut up, darling
~~~
Australia: Brazil... your body is like a potato
Brazil: ...Thank you..?
Australia: But you know... like... a potato in 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑖𝑣𝑒~
~~~
America: So, Ukraine kissed you?
Canada: Yep.
America: And you thanked her?
Canada: YEP.
America:
America: How Canadian of you.
~~~
Russia: if we get a room together does this mean we're married
America: no, just en-gay-ged
Russia: why did you say it like that?
America: to make sure it's gay
~~~
Germany: can I have a little space please?
Poland, laying their head on Germany's lap: it's your fault for being so perfect, so if you want to be mad at anyone be mad at yourself
~~~
Poland, panicking as he's trying to tell Germany he loves them: you and i, we- we're- *looks over at America for support*
America *mouths soulmates*
Poland, continuing: we're soup snakes, Neimcy!
Canada, Ukraine, and Russia, watching: ohmygod-
~~~
Russia: I love you
America: is that you talking or the vodka?
Russia: it's me talking to the vodka
~~~
Poland: Hey can I sit there?
Germany: Unfortunately not, I'm already sitting here.
Poland: Whatever *sits in his lap*
Germany: Fool. You have played directly into my trap! Now I'll never stop cuddling you!
~~~
Russia: Are you hitting on me?
America: No, I'm not. I promise you.
America: ...But if I were, would you be interested?
YOU ARE READING
CountryHumans Incorrect Quotes
Fanfictionyeah uhm.... enjoy some skits, as me and my friends call them. I don't even know what characters are gonna be in here so.... hope it's good! Updates are slow but they will happen!! Also Disclaimer I don't support any of the bad things in this book i...
