~Iron Family~

Man, We Need to Get Him A Girlfriend

"Mr. Stark, there is an update about Spider-Man," FRIDAY's voice blared through Tony's earpiece and he yelped.

"Jeez! FRIDAY! Please tone it down, you're gonna damage my ears." He jumped up from the table where he had been fixing one of his repulsors in his workshop.

"Apologies. Maybe you should change that setting yourself sometime and quit sitting on your tail all day. As I was reporting, you asked for updates on Spider-Man. He has been spotted two minutes ago attacking two more kitchen appliances."

Tony groaned. "Okay. I wanted some down time today, but I guess that'll never happen."

FRIDAY gave him the coordinates and in no time he was suited up. He found Spider-Man on a sidewalk with a demolished microwave, stomping something to death stuck under a bunch of webs.

When he heard Tony's thrusters, he turned mid-jump and tensed.

"Whatcha doing here, Spider-Man?" Tony asked in a half sarcastic, half curious tone.

"Oh. Hi," the guy panted, dusting himself off. "I was just...doin' morning patrol."

"Really?" Tony tilted his head. "Did you send my intern false information about the supposed evil Clusterstorm chip?"

"What?" Spider-Man spluttered. "No! I told--I mean, I went into Saber's house and--and I downloaded data directly from his private computer."

"His private computer?" Tony asked, mimicking amazement. "How ever did you manage that? Working on the inside, perhaps?"

"No!" Spider-Man clutched at his head in annoyance. "I told you, I'm just--very sneaky! I basically webbed up the cameras 'n crawled on the ceiling to get there. No one stopped me. And I'm telling you, I downloaded the right data!"

"A coffee machine," Tony nodded. "Yeah, that sounds about right. Sorry, fancypants, but your heavy Queens accent won't save you this time."

"I'm telling you! It was plans for the Clusterstorm chip, I saw it! It was about global extermination! Saber has a plan for all of his appliances, it's all linked together! The appliances might--"

"Puh-lease," Tony sighed. "You're obviously new to the scene, you seem kinda young. Maybe you need a lesson in not interfering with stuff you shouldn't."

He meant it to sound threatening, but Spider-Man just crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'm not that young!" he pouted, making himself look even smaller. Tony snorted.

"Sure, kid. But I'm not about to write you off--I'll be taking these."

He shot little robotic thrusters at the microwave, which clamped to the surface and began flying it out. He picked up the smoldering mixer and turned back to face the young hero.

"Stay out of this. You're not helping your case."

"What case?" he yelled as Tony flew off.

As soon as he was a little ways away, speeding towards the tower, the mixer came to life.

"What the--" Tony lost his grip on the mixer as it vibrated with energy, sparks flying from the openings. Instead of plummeting to the street far below, it attached itself to his arm and began to try and saw through his armor with sharp mixer blades. He tried to shake it off, but it clung fast.

"Get off me, you son of a--"

The mixer suddenly stilled and, with the wind whistling in Tony's helmet, it pitched sideways and began to fall.

Tony reversed thrusters and blasted towards the mixer, but it popped out its own little thrusters and sped up. He couldn't reach it in time--it crashed into the street below, getting run over by a giant pickup truck.