Evolution of a lover's heart | jjk

24

Neither one speaks as Jeongguk follows Yuna through a door into a stairwell where it's dead silent. She sits down on the third step and pats the spot beside her.

Jeongguk takes a seat right next to her, praying that he'll survive the night.

Yuna sighs defeatedly. "You know, she never stopped talking about you."

He gulps as the words register, unsure of what to say or even feel.

"And I hated it. Used to berate her for it, saying that you didn't deserve to be on her mind, but she never stopped. Sure, she didn't mention you as often after she met Joon, but still. 'Oh, this reminds me of Jeongguk, he was always into photography.' Or, 'I wonder what Jeongguk's up to.' Or, 'Do you think he's happy? I hope he is.' "

Conflicting. Everything's just so... conflicting. You shouldn't have thought of him, but you did, and is that okay to feel good about? Is he allowed to like that you missed him? The emotion that's the clearest is, of course, guilt. You still thought fondly of him even after he treated you like shit. He shouldn't like the fact that you missed him.

"I'm sorry." He's not sure what exactly he's apologizing for, maybe the fact that Yuna had to deal with whatever mess he left behind, although he doubts you ever let yourself rely too much on others, even if you were hurting.

"No," she sighs again, deeper this time. "I'm the one who should apologize. She said that you told her what I did. You know, with the rocks..."

"Oh, I, uh, didn't mean to rat you out. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. And like I said, you don't need to apologize. I acted out of anger, but you realize what all the evidence pointed toward, right? I know now what truly happened, she told me that you finally talked everything out—don't worry, she only explained it very briefly—but if I were faced with the same circumstances today, I'd do it all again. But since I do know now, I'm sorry for throwing the rocks at you and for what I said. I didn't think you'd be so affected by my words. But I see it now, so I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I needed to know what an ass I was," Jeongguk says, fingers picking at the sleeve of his shirt. "I'm glad she had such a great friend as you to defend her."

To his surprise, Yuna snorts quietly. With a confused frown, he glances over at her.

She smiles humorlessly, watching the way her own hands play with the hem of her black, flowy dress. "You know, we didn't really become friends until after college."

"What?" Jeongguk feels his forehead crease further. He understands the words, but he can't make sense of them. "But literally, the first time I met you at your apartment, she offered to come and get you from the bar, another time she did go and get you? I literally carried you on my back home. I thought you were close?"

"You do realize who you're talking about, right? As if she wouldn't do that for a complete stranger too? We were just... roommates, acquaintances, and she didn't have a lot of friends at the time."

What? He knew your social circle was smaller than his, but you still had your friends, right? All the girls that hung around the apartment that one time he sought refuge in your sheets, were they only friends of Yuna's? The people he saw you with in the halls? Were they only classmates? Acquaintances?

Noticing Jeongguk's perplexed expression, Yuna clasps her hands together on her lap and continues.

"Let's just say that despite being one of the kindest people in existence, she can be surprisingly difficult to be around, and feeling guilty over something you've done to her isn't exclusive to you. People have always treated her more or less like shit, and she just takes it. She forgives everyone, even people she really shouldn't. You were just the one we finally managed to make her hold accountable, but I know she regretted that. Also, I never thanked you for helping that night, it was sweet of you."