Tear: A Kim Namjoon Fan Fiction (18+) Book 3

Chapter 2- I'm Ready Now

*Author Note-This chapter contains adult content including sexual situations/descriptions. Read at your own risk.

~Namjoon~

My mind was racing with a million thoughts as I drove home from Aera's apartment. Once I pulled my car into the garage I blinked in surprise, trying to remember the drive home and how I even got there. All I could think about was that kiss before I left...and how badly I wanted to feel those lips against mine again.

The kiss was so innocent and sweet but it was an obvious mistake she never meant to make. Just the simple brush of her perfect lips against mine had added more fuel to a fire inside me that had been burning for her for over a year. From the day I met Jeon Aera I felt a connection to her that I couldn't explain and had never felt with any woman I'd ever known. She wasn't just beautiful from the inside out, but she was caring, kind, warm, attentive...she was everything I'd ever dreamed of come to life. It was fair to say I was attracted to her the moment I met her. However, she also had just fled from an abusive relationship and I was sure that the last thing she needed was for a new man to come along and confuse her as she healed.

The truth was I hadn't been honest with Aera during our conversation about dating that morning. I had met the right girl already and it was getting harder and harder to be around her and not tell her how I felt. Sometimes it seemed like she might feel the same way I did, sometimes not. Even if she did I'd made a promise to myself long ago that I wasn't going to pursue a relationship with her no matter how much I wanted to. She'd lived a sheltered life before she was set up with her ex fiance by her parents. The four years after that were nothing short of absolute hell for her and I wholeheartedly believed that she needed to get to know herself before she could fully commit to a new relationship.

I'd also worried about how her brother Jungkook would really feel about it if I decided to pursue something with her. Logically I knew that Jungkook would be okay with us dating. He even teased me about it a few times, once even asking me bluntly when I was ever going to ask her out. He'd given his blessing but something always held me back. Maybe it was all of the reasons I'd told myself or maybe I was just afraid of being rejected. I'd had relationships in the past that had been good but I never felt love for any of them.

The closest I'd come was when I met my friend and colleague Emmie but it wasn't meant to be. She had a long history with my cousin Jin that started when they were young and in the end I stepped aside so they could be together. At the time I was disappointed but looking at them now I know that she made the right choice in marrying my cousin. They were both so happy and now were going to be parents. Looking back on it I'm glad it didn't work with Emmie because if it had I'd have never been able to get to know Aera as well as I did.

I made my way inside my house, my thoughts still consumed by the feel of her lips on mine. I'd given myself a million reasons not to act on my feelings for her but now after the simple act of her lips brushing against mine I was out of excuses. I'd often thought about what it would feel like to kiss her and now that it happened, however brief and innocent it was, it had me rethinking my decision to keep my feelings in.

I headed straight to my shower and turned it on, undressing as the water heated up. Once it was ready I stepped into the shower and let the hot water sting my skin. I moaned at the feel of the water on my muscles and when I closed my eyes to let the water rain down on my face, Aera's beautiful face popped into my mind.

I had an image of her lying on my bed, her undoubtedly perfect body writhing beneath me as I took my time showing her pleasure she'd never felt. I instinctively took my length into my hand and stroked myself, moaning at the feel as I fantasized about all the things I wanted to do to her. It didn't take long before I found my release, grunting and leaning my head against the marble tile as the water continued to dampen my skin. It was at that moment, naked in my shower and so turned on by thoughts of her, that I decided I was going to stop making excuses and finally tell her how I felt about her. Even if she turned me down I had to know I where I stood with her.