although // shin ryujin

i promise

(ryujin's pov)

"you are staying the night. i'm not letting you go anywhere this late. plus, i owe you, so get comfortable." jangmi said, more like demanded, as she unlocked the door to her house.

I pretended to think about it, "welll, if i leave now i won't get free food or sleep in rich people beds, so .. i think i'll stay." i teased, wiggling my eyebrows and watching her expression shift into a sour one.

"you know what? leave." she said, pointing at the door. i nervously laughed, as her face was very stern and serious, making me question whether or not she was actually being serious. either that, or she's just as good as an actor everybody claims her to be.

slowly, she dropped her stern expression and started giggling, "you almost believed me." she said, as her laughter grew. i playfully shoved her, not wanting to deny or accept anything. i believed her for only a split second.

her laughter died down, "i'm going to make you food. it's the least i can do since you probably froze your butt off for me tonight, okay?" she asked, walking away from me and into to the kitchen, already bringing out pots and utensils from the large cabinets. seems like she's already set her mind on making me food and won't take no for an answer.

...

she handed me a hoodie and some shorts and told me to go shower. it was late at night, and she was still cooking, but how could I say no to a face like hers? therefore, I skipped to her bathroom, curious to know what this girl uses that makes her smell so good, and what was about to make me smell just like her.

ugh, that sounds so creepy.

I quickly showered, secretly indulging in whatever makes her shampoo smell so good and got out. I observed the clothes she gave me: it was an oversized hoodie that smelled just like her and a pair of matching shorts. I gladly wore them, the idea of her basically hugging me all night long since i'm wearing her clothes, comforting me.

I slowly walked out as I combed my fingers through my tangled, damp hair and immediately stopped when I saw what was spread out on her dining table.

my mouth dropped.

when she told me she'd make me food, I was expecting something simple, like mac n cheese or noodles, not a whole three course meal!

"jangmiii, what is all this? you didn't have to make all this for me." I whined, immediately regretting making her cook for me as it probably took her a lot of work and effort.

she smiled and shook her head, ignoring my comment and motioned for me to take a seat. "eat up." she said, while taking the seat in front of me. "look at you, they work you too hard and feed you too little." she continued, as she began pouring two glasses of soju.

I obeyed her and took a forkful of food, almost rolling my eyes at the delightfulness of exploding flavors. "you're skinnier than me." I shot back with a full mouth.

she glared at me, "you're going to eat all of that." she said, ignoring my remark and pointing at the food in front of me with her fork.

I playfully rolled my eyes, "I was going to do that anyways." I said, meaning it, because I have never eaten a home-cooked meal as good as this.

...

after finishing all the food she made and a couple shots of soju later, we were sitting on her couch, facing each other.

"i think this is like the first time we hang out without it being all crazy, like before." i mentioned, remembering all the other times her and i crossed paths. this is probably our first normal interaction, ignoring the fact that the weird voice in my dream this afternoon told me to go to the rose garden which she was already in.

wait— telling me to go to the rose garden?

"ah, never mind, how we crossed paths today isn't normal." I added on, as bits and pieces of my dream from earlier immediately invaded my mind.

I went on, "i had a bad dream this afternoon. in the end of it, a voice told me to go to the rose garden, and for some reason i just ran out that door, with no hesitation, and when i got there, i magically saw you." i explained, not surprised anymore by the connection, but rather amazed how it perfectly fits into each other like a puzzle piece.

she was silent for a second, "come to think of it, when i caught keeho with that girl, on my way out i saw a bouquet of roses like the ones in the garden, and as i was driving home, I accidentally took a detour and suddenly found myself at the same garden, too." she explained, as her once happy expression turned slightly sad after mentioning her boyfriend.

"what was you're dream about?" she asked, not giving me a chance to reply to her. i thought about it, my dream was about something that was very familiar, something that i hadn't forgotten one bit no matter how long ago it was:

my mom's death.

i took a deep breath, "about my mom's death." i whispered, everything hitting me all at once again. immediately, she must've heard the change of tone since the topic was brought up, and turned to face me.

"you know, i don't know what happened, but what i can tell you is that please don't blame yourself for whatever happened. you were so young. i hope you don't wish the accident took you instead of your mom." she scooched closer, "because as her duty as your mother, her first concern is your safety, and the fact that you came out of that accident alive and healthy, satisfies her enough. so be easy on yourself." she said, as I took the time to think about her words. i've never really told her anything about what happened with my mom, and the fact that she was able to tell me and reassure me with all that, with no context from before, made me realize how well she must be able to read me.

i could feel a tear threatening to drop. it was a hard battle, especially since i was slightly drunk, but unfortunately, i lost, and it made its way down my cheek. instantly, jangmi noticed and wiped it with the pad of her thumb as she scooched even closer to me. so close i could ever so slightly feel her warm minty breath tickling my face.

i was touched by her reassuring words and was comforted by her own touch.

she's my soulmate. I believe it.

but what if she doesn't think the same way? what if she just thinks of roses and our weird encounters as just one big coincidence?

what if she doesn't like me like that?

I took a deep breath, "promise me you won't leave me. promise me that if you never see a rose in your life again, you will still try to come back to me." i said, slightly whispering, the thought of losing her just like that scaring me more than my dream.

i raised my pinkie finger to her, continuing when she didn't respond, "most of the time, promises aren't kept, but they are made to make us feel better and keep us from worrying. so, please, even if in the future you can't stay, promise me now you'll try, so it makes me feel better, even if you don't mean it." i said, observing her careful green eyes, before she slowly lifted her own pinkie finger and carefully intertwined it with mine.

"i promise." she whispered back.