although // shin ryujin

fate

i scoffed, "so suddenly only i can change the peoples' view?" i sarcastically replied.

she ignored my remark, "listen, i don't think you know exactly how people are reacting to this. for you, everybody is on the neutral. not one bad thing has been said about you. it's mostly just confusion. people really like you, they believe in you. i never would of thought that people would react to anything opposing to them like this. it's like you automatically made them reconsider something—simply because your name was in it." she explained. which could've been considered; had i been checking up on what was going on, but even i knew that was the last thing i should be doing.

i awkwardly coughed. there was no point in responding.

"thank you for being by my side," i said, changing the subject and getting up. "it makes me feel a little better about all of this knowing somebody stands with me."

she got up, too and gently nodded. "of course, after all, you deserve nothing but good, and meeting you today proved that even more."

i wanted to cry. seriously. hearing this from a random stranger, who treated me like they would treat everybody else at this airport, despite me feeling so distant, took a toll on me.

"i'm gonna get something to eat." i spoke up, trying my best to sound normal. i was on the verge of tears and i definitely did not want to break down in front of her.

before leaving, i wrapped my arms around her. i felt her body tense up, but instantly relaxed after she put her arms around me, as well.

"thank you." i said.

she nodded. "i'm gonna pretend like i'm not internally freaking out about you hugging me, right now." she said, which caused me to squeeze her a bit harder.

she cleared her throat, "listen, if you see ryujin, tell her i say hi."

i let go of her, "where am i gonna see ryujin? i'm gonna be hundreds of miles away from her for who knows how long." i blatantly said. she should know this by now.

she gave me a blank face. "oh, ryujin?" she spoke, "she's somewhere around here looking for you."

i took a step back, "bruh." i crossed my arms. this girl. "how do you know?"

she giggled, "i ran into her as i was looking for my gate, and surprisingly she approached me and asked if i had seen paparazzi nearby. i told her no, but she also asked if i had seen you."

i scoffed, "okay, why didn't you tell me about this sooner?" i asked, still unsure if she was telling the truth or not. after all, she could just be a creepy, stalker fan, and here i was basically befriending her.

"because if your fate is written for you to see each other again, then i'm not gonna ruin it. by me not ruining it, you can both figure out if this is what needs to happen, or not. naturally."

i just gave her a slow, suspicious nod as i walked away, her words echoing in my head.

"fate."

one word that has always been revolving around ryujin and i ever since we met.

although, maybe it wasn't actually fate. because in less than an hour, i'll never see her again. if fate actually was on our side, we wouldn't have any of these difficulties to begin with.

but that got me thinking, what is love if it is not for the process it took to get there? they say the faults are what make love stronger, but why isn't it working for us? why is it that with every bump, it just pushes us away from each other?

—as if fate is telling us we don't belong together.

so, if ryujin can find me in this endlessly large airport, maybe our fate is true.

if not, then maybe we weren't meant to be.

the fan said naturally, so it's not like i should do anything to help the process. not a phone call, not searching for her myself, and definitely not having anybody help me find her. if it is naturally, then she will naturally find me again.

which doesn't seem like it was gonna happen, because as i finished my food i ordered from a nearby shop, i checked the time only to realize i had about five minutes until boarding time.

i couldn't just mope around forever.

i quickly got my bags and headed to my gate. i walked at a normal pace, slightly scanning the people nearby in case i recognized that familiar face.

i had little hope as i neared my gate.

and i had no hope left once i gave the front desk my ticket and slowly approached the runway to the plane.

she wasn't coming.

this is what our fate planned for us.

nothing.

just pain.