although // shin ryujin

lets be more than friends?

(ryujin's pov)

"how do i tell someone i want to be more than friends?" i asked, willing to receive an answer from any of the four girls who were currently sitting in the same room as me.

it's been on my mind for awhile now, but i just never knew how to initiate the conversation with jangmi, especially since i wasn't very sure if she was ready or even wanted a relationship, as she just got out of one.

"why are you asking all of a sudden?" yeji questioned, as her eyebrows hinted she was just teasing, but her tone almost cold and bitter.

i haven't told a single soul about jangmi. mainly because i didn't really know if she would appreciate me telling everybody else about our kisses we shared or our feelings we confessed. other than that, i would've let everybody know that she is mine, and only mine.

i nervously laughed, "oh, it's nothing. just asking in case one day it'll come in handy." i lied, hoping nobody could see my face in the dark. although, i do think yeji knows someone plays a bigger picture in my statement. especially since she has been teasing me nonstop for finding a new crush, and not to mention when jangmi and i were bickering when she came over, meaning her and i definitely had something happen when it was just the two of us.

but for now, she doesn't need to know who i was specifically talking about.

"you want to know how to tell someone you want to be more than just friends?" lia repeated, as i nodded eagerly, awaiting for her response, since it seemed like nobody else was willing to give me any.

"okay, first of all, you need to know if they want to be more than friends, too." she said, as i prepared a mental checklist in my head. more than friends, too, got it.

"then, you need to know if you are ready to commit to a relationship and if the other is able to do so as well. you also need to know if you want this relationship to last, and not just something temporary." she continued. this one had me slumped, though. she made a really good point, but how would i know if i was ready for a relationship, when i've never been in one? and how would i know if she was ready to get back into one?

i guess theres no way to know unless i ask her.

"lastly, do you really like this person enough to want a relationship?" lia concluded, as she finally looked at me. "this is the most important one, because it's liking somebody enough to want to initiate a relationship in the first place."

even though the last one had me slumped, i knew this one from the whole of my heart. yes, i do like jangmi that much that i want to initiate something with her. pray to tell, i know i love her enough to do it.

which is why, as i excused myself from the rest of the girls, i decided to do the one thing that might determine what jangmi and i could possibly be.

i decided to call her.

this time, i was confident.

i was so confident that i forgot the possibility she wouldn't answer.

which is why i thought the topic was important enough for a second call.

that i regret, though, because instead of letting the call go to voicemail, she manually ended it on the second ring.

with the possibility of her being busy or in the middle of something important, i decided to settle for a text message before my confidence died down and i would be too shy to even send it.

ryujin: hi jangmi, if you're not busy, can we meet up somewhere to talk? i have something really important i want to tell you <3.

i quickly pressed send and shoved the phone into my pocket before i could overthink about if what i sent was too much or too little. it was not until i made it back to the couch to join the other girls when i felt my phone buzz.

i quickly got my phone out.

to my surprise, jangmi replied.

jangmi: ryujinnnnn i cont think i can com out my door my legs are so tiryed how abuot youuuu come heeere

ah, she's drunk.

i groaned after reading her message. just great, the one time i get a splurge of confidence to finally want to initiate something on my own, and here she is, drunk.

nonetheless, i didn't want to miss out on a chance to see her. plus, she was drunk and all alone, meaning something must've happened to make her do it, which could mean she'd want some company, and as her (hopefully) soon-to-be lover, i wouldn't mind providing that.

i decided to just send her an 'omw' message and quickly say goodbye to the girls, before i hurried out the door and into my car.

...

i finally made it to jangmi's door and gently knocked, not wanting to frighten her as it was late at night and since she was already drunk and probably out of her mind.

immediately, i heard the door unlock and two small hands grab me inside.

"ryujin! you cameee!" she slurred, as she engulfed me in a hug.

i laughed and hugged her back. "yea, if i left you like this all alone, who knows what you would do." i said, earning a cute giggle from her.

it's a shame i wouldn't be able to ask her out, since she isn't in the right mind at the moment. although right now would have been a perfect time to do it.

"why are you drunk?" i asked her, as i looked around her kitchen to see two fallen empty bottles of soju and a plate of uneaten food next to a brown journal.

she came up to me and hugged me again, "i just read the most scariest thing everrrrr. i couldn't handle itttt." she whined, earning a pat on the head from me.

i took her to the couch and sat her down, "what'd you read that frightened you that much to make you want to get drunk?" i asked, knowing it must've been something bad if someone like her needed to get drunk to not want to think about something

she sighed before getting up to the kitchen and grabbing that same brown journal on the counter i saw from earlier. she made her way back to me and handed it to me.

"read it and then you'll know." was all she said, before she rested her head on my shoulder and waited for me to flip to the first page.