although // shin ryujin

the one girl

(jangmi's pov)

there was not a single car in sight, and especially for a place like Seoul, that was very rare.

nonetheless, I didn't want to arrive early— especially if it meant the rest of the girls were already there and I'd have to possibly run into ryujin. I was already going to see her more than I needed to, so there was no reason to start, now.

"take your time getting there." I told the driver, as I silently cursed the world for not giving me traffic the one day I actually needed it.

I wanted to see ryujin again so bad, but at the same time, I didn't. only because I don't know if id be able to act normal in front of her, especially since the persona I had to play was someone who was regularly seeing itzy altogether as friends, and not as four girls as friends and one as my lover who left on 'bad' terms two months ago.

"miss, we're arriving to the destination in about five minutes." the driver spoke, interrupting me from my thoughts as I looked at the window to see the dorms already coming in to view.

I panicked, "what do you mean five minutes? I told you to take your time, how are we already here?" I asked, feeling my heartbeat quicken. I don't think i'm ready for this.

"I went below the speed limit and took the longer route, but since there was no traffic, we still arrived fairly quickly." he replied, and I immediately regretted snapping at him.

I stayed silent as I tried not to show my panic as the driver parked in front of the dorms.

he cleared his throat, "uh, miss, if you'd like to wait in the car for a little, until you're ready to go down, you are welcome to do so." he offered, as he gave me a sympathetic look through the rear-view mirror.

I nodded my head and smiled, appreciating his kind gesture, but feeling a little bit embarrassed at the fact that I made it obvious I was very nervous, right now.

I looked at the time, it was about five minutes before they shoot, and it would be rude to keep them waiting and show up late, right?

I shakily grabbed the car door handle, "thank you, but it would be rude if I kept them waiting any longer." I squeaked out, knowing that if I stayed any longer, it would probably be very hard for me to get out.

I slowly pulled the handle and pushed the door and climbed out.

everything felt like it was moving painfully slow as I made my way to the door, as if my brain just wanted to add more suspense to everything.

and what was happening wasn't even so bad in the first place!

I was just going to see the girl I love after telling her we should never see each other again, no biggie.

I made my way to the entrance door and took a deep breath, no biggie.

I grabbed it and turned it.

no biggie.

then, I slowly pushed it. again.

no biggie.

with my eyes closed, I slowly walked in, the sound of my heartbeat and heels clicking occupying my mind.

no biggie, one last time.

everything was going to be fine.

"ahhhh, ms. lee, you finally made it. hopefully the ride was well?" a lady in a suit asked as she motioned for me to follow her.

"the girls already chose partners, we're just waiting on you, now." she went on, before turning her head over her shoulder to look at me.

i nervously laughed and nodded my head. i would've replied with words, but there was that nauseous feeling where i was afraid if i were to open my mouth to speak, maybe words weren't the only thing that were going to come out.

we walked into a poorly lit room, with cameras in every corner.

a voice spoke from behind, "please turn up the lights so we can actually see ms. lee and the remaining girls." the voice barked, as the lights immediately began brightening on command.

it was at that moment when my eyes finally adjusted to the brightness and the first thing they landed on was her.

the one girl i never forgot about.

the one girl i missed so much.

and the one girl who was also looking back at me.

my eyes widened as i suddenly realized it was actually her.

"ms. lee, did you hear me?" a voice asked from behind, startling me from my daze and causing me to choke on the air.

"someone get her water!" a voice barked, "don't scare her like that!"

there was a lot of commotion going on around me, but i couldn't help but bring my eyes back to her, already knowing she was staring at me.

but when our eyes connected, she immediately rolled her eyes and looked away.

what?