although // shin ryujin

my heart

(ryujin's pov)

i heard the heels clicking, indicating she must be coming back. therefore, i immediately ran back to my original spot so she wouldn't come in and figure out i was eavesdropping.

i was contently humming, playing with a rose to seem distracted, when she finally came in.

i snapped my head back to see her, but what i saw broke my heart.

she was crying.

i ran up to her, "jangmi, are you okay?" i softly asked, seeing the tears fall from her eyes.

she opened her mouth to say something, but instead it came out as a muffled cry and immediately, instead of responding, she buried her face in my neck and engulfed me in a hug.

i rubbed her back gently, soothing her with reassuring words, as i was trying to hold my own tears, the sight of her being sad giving me enough reasons to cry as well.

after staying in this position for what felt like hours, i finally heard her stop crying and sniffling, and therefore took this as a chance to try talk to her again.

"do you want to talk?" i softly asked, scanning her beautiful eyes, as i reached up to her face to wipe the tears on her cheek.

she merely shook her head, "what is there to talk about? i did what i said i was going to do." she paused to sniffle, "but i didn't think it'd affect me, at all."

her last words hurt me a little bit. sure, it was her boyfriend of a while and they just broke up, but if she's crying about it, that must mean she still feels something for him, even a little bit, right?

i shushed her, "you did what was best for you, it may hurt now, but hopefully in the long run you'll see you made the right decision." i assured her, feeling my heart break. i was supposed to be happy to see her break up with him, and she was supposed to be, too. so, why isn't it like that? is it because i can't bear to see her anything but happy? that i'd rather have her away from me if it meant giving her all the happiness in the world, as she deserves? or the fact i'd take all the burden in the world just so not even a fly could harm her?

that i'd do anything for her.

but is it really reciprocated?

i took a deep breath, "jangmi, i know this may be bad timing, but if i don't tell you now, i'd probably never get the courage to tell you any other time." i said, pausing, preparing myself for every confession that was about to come out of my mouth, "as you probably know, i like you, a lot. i know we've only known each other for a few months, but the way i feel for you, i've never felt for anybody. your name is engraved on my heart and seeing you cry tears it apart. so, please don't waste your tears on that idiot, and waste them on me, instead." i finished, hesitantly examining her unreadable face. i turned my head away from her in embarrassment, suddenly regretting my confession, until she forced me to face her with her finger.

"i like you, too. a lot more than you think— and i'm only crying over keeho because i spent six months of my life with him, so it's guaranteed for me to feel some sort of sadness, because not only was he my boyfriend, but he was a friend before that and throughout our time together, too. but, ever since i met you, any feelings i had for him shriveled away, especially ever since i caught him with that girl. i like you, ruyjin, and only you, and i don't think that will change, ever." she said.

i blushed, "wow, what a poet." i teased, still processing her confession.

she raised her eyebrow, "yea? well, if i tell you that i never really believed in fate, until i met you, would you call that poetic, as well? or just some random talk people say when they're in love?" she teased back and stuck her tongue out at me.

my eyes widened and i felt my heart skip a beat at her words. "say that again, it was so poetic." i said, watching her playfully rolling her eyes.

"ryujin, i never really believed in fate, but the way the world keeps pushing me into you, makes me change my mind."