although // shin ryujin

deja vu

(jangmi's pov)

i walked into the loud house, hand in hand with keeho. immediately, a bunch of his friends came up to us and greeted him. keeho quickly excused himself to me and i watched him as he left to somewhere far off into the house with his arm around one of his friends.

this feels like deja vu.

right.. last time we went to a party together, he excused himself the same way. except, last time, i trusted him— this time i don't.

he shouldn't trust me, either though. especially if ryujin somehow happens to be here, too.

i sighed and walked over to an empty couch and plopped down. i was going to get a drink, but from the distance, i saw varieties of rosè and floral spirits, and the last thing i need is to encounter ryujin, again.

as much as i'd love to bump into her, i can't. because ever since i kissed her, i couldn't get her off my mind, and if i see her again, i'd be tempted to kiss her once more, and then i'd prove to be just as bad as keeho— for the second time.

therefore, as much as it hurts me and might hurt her, i have to stay away from her and avoid her, as much as i don't want to.

with the music blasting in my ears, the sweaty bodies packed together, and myself being sober, everything seemed to just piss me off. so, i got off of the couch, and decided to go outside for a breath of fresh air. i pushed around a few people, and as I reached the door to walk out, i saw the sight of 4 familiar girls walking up the steps and another one trailing behind them.

so much for avoiding.

as it was too late and too packed to turn back into the house, the best i could do was cover my face with my hands and try to sneak around the girls unrecognized without them noticing me.

unfortunately, my plan didn't do so well. i was able to get past the 4 girls successfully, but not the one lacking behind. the only one I needed to stay away from.

"jangmi!" the girl yelled, as I walked right past her.

i didn't stop, instead i ignored her and kept on walking, hoping she'd think she got the wrong person.

to my luck, she didn't give up and instead of dismissing me, i felt a warm hand wrap around my wrist, forcing me to stop in place.

the same warm hand gently turned me towards their direction, facing me towards the girl who grabbed me.

"jangmi, where are you going?" ryujin asked, never letting go of my wrist. i looked down at her hand and sighed. she had to notice me, the one person i need to start avoiding, and i couldn't even get a successful first try.

i looked at anywhere but her eyes, "i'm going to my car." I coldly replied, gently freeing my wrist from her hand.

she hesitated, "oh.. can i come with?" she asked.

i quickly shook my head, "no it's okay, i just need to grab something. you go in, have fun." i said, declining her offer as i gently smiled, my eyes still not making contact with hers.

not giving her any time to respond, i dismissed myself and sped walked to my car.

as i reached my car, i gently kicked the tire, punishing myself for failing at going unnoticed by ryujin.

i looked back at the house, ryujin was nowhere to be found outside, meaning she headed in.

i sighed with relief. there is no way i can go back in to that house, because, I know somehow I'll bump into her, and I know she'll somehow convince and take me away from everybody else,  (because she's such a good sweet talker), and I know once we are alone i'd start thinking of her lips and you know what happens next-- WHICH shall not happen again.