It Only Takes a Moment || Jimin x Reader

Fragile

Ch.40

Jimin's P.O.V.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I haven't stopped thinking about my mistake. Actually, there were a lot of mistakes I made last night. Each of them making me want to close my eyes and scream. However, recoiling did me no good. It was too late to regret when the choices have already been made. As much as my mind wandered onto the thought of you, I knew I shouldn't. After all, I'm the one who told you to forget about me and to go with Namjoon. I did that. Yet I acted miserably and made the most idiotic choice. Out of loneliness, insecurity or my own impulsiveness, I don't know what caused me to do it. Whatever it was, it landed me a date with Yumi.

Yumi of all people. It had me nauseous that I fell into her trap without her having to lift a finger. Was she waiting for him to break my own heart? Maybe I was predictable or her timing was too perfect. I knew I wouldn't get an answer about it from her. It would remain a mystery that would eat at me, leaving me hollow until I caved in on myself. The events of last night still played in my head like a never ending dream. It was hard to believe I was awake when everything moved in slow motion. My body was heavy and I felt impossibly lethargic. My emotions never did give my body the easy route.

It affected me until it reached my core. It took everything in me not to fall over and to swallow my food properly. Truthfully, my appetite has vanished. Partially due to the fact that (F/n) had gone off with another man in front of my eyes and also because I was on a date with Yumi. There was no feeling allowed in front of her. There was nothing that I could visibly display when she sat across from me with her intently watching my every move. There was no safety in allowing her to peek at my vulnerability. She had seen enough yesterday and that single shred she saw kept me up at night.

This date took place at a restaurant of her choosing. Nothing too upscale, but it was nice and I dressed up enough to look like I put in minimal effort. The colors I wore were nothing special. Only solid greys and browns in comparison to her baby pink dress. She seemed excited to show me her outfit though she hadn't received the compliments she was looking for. Definitely not when I caught her Instagram page opened to (F/n)'s post of the outfit that was worn on Valentine's Day with me. Again, I felt sick. She wanted to be (F/n) but there was no f*cking chance of that.

"Are you sure you're not hungry? I don't wanna eat all by myself. That makes me feel weird." Yumi playfully pouted, shaking her shoulders childishly. Her attempts to act cute didn't ease any of my worries.

"Sorry, I don't feel like it. Only a water will do for me." I didn't bother glancing at the cold glass that I had barely touched. Yumi clasped her hands together over the table, smiling at me anyway despite upsetting her. She didn't have to tell me for me to know.

This date wasn't going the way she wanted, that's for sure. I hadn't been amazed by her copycat outfit, the restaurant of her choice, and I also wasn't mentally present with her in general. My mind was floating elsewhere. It hardly felt like my body was even present here. Yumi still did everything in her power not to let her smile fall. It tensed up and became plastic at most, but it never fell. How did she expect me to open up to her when she couldn't do the same with me? She didn't see me as an equal. No, she saw me as a trophy that she wanted to wave around to all the others at SNB. Especially to (F/n).

I already felt sick that I was on a date with her like this. In a way, I was helping her on her pathetic mission. Whatever Yumi had against you, she now had this day under her belt. Being here felt like a betrayal to you. I shouldn't be here. The corners of my lips were low as I struggled to find any joy in the situation. There was no positive side to this. Rather than acting out emotionally last night, I should have taken a breath and stepped back. I still have time to confess, right? I hope so.