18 Years of God Damn Bullshit: A Memoir

Masc

I'm sorry I'm not invited to the man club

I was unaware I had to leave so much behind

Like beaded bracelets and thinner fabrics

For the sake of being seen by you

I'd like to believe it's only my clothes

Or maybe they just want to see if I'm someone they recognize

But I can't help but feel like I have to earn their respect

I have to earn the right to be called by my name

I need to dress in straight legged pants and thick jackets that hide my torso

Because I'm just too god damned confusing

A part of me knows even with the beard they won't see me fully

There will always be their stares

Always the slip up as soon as they know

And then it's back to them calling you "human"

For a word that describes us all

They couldn't find a way to make it more othering