Dying is the Easiest Part

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Confessing To a Wall That Can't Hear

"Help... please. Help. Make it go away..."

"I don't know what to do... please. Are you there? Can you hear me? Just please make it go away... I can't take it anymore."

I gasp the second I wake up from a dream that feels so real...

It feels so real because it happened. It was from my memory. It didn't happen here, in this world where I am currently in, but it happened before. That's why it feels so excruciating.

I put a palm on my chest as if the heat coming from my palm would ease away the ache. It didn't, though. There's nothing harder in this world than to heal from wounds that aren't visible through the naked eye.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I peel the sheets away from my lower waist and then I went down from my bed to make my way through the balcony of my room. There's a couch in there that is facing towards the sea and it has a rectangular coffee table in front of it that is rectangular in shape.

Tiningnan ko ang materyal na sumusuporta dito sa ibaba at doon ay nakita ko ang dalawang leon na mayroong katawan ng isang isda. They were on each side of the table, stretching their paws up to support the glass material.

And damn it if they aren't made with gold. What's up with my Dad? Spending so much money on a table that he would put in a balcony where a thief could easily snuck it and steal it? Sa sobrang yaman niya ay hindi na niya yata alam kung saan niya gagastahin ang pera niya.

I'd be so mad if he's spending his money on these things tapos ay ni isang charity ay wala siyang sinusuportahan. I don't care if he's my Dad, I'd definitely say eat the rich.

Barefoot, I walk towards the ancient balustrade handrails. They look so classic, it feels like I'm somewhere in between Italy and Greece. I grip on the handrails as I look up towards the night sky. There are a lot of stars tonight. I'm actually not the type of girl who always look up at the stars and now I've realized how I've been taking this beautiful view for granted.

The stars above looks so beautiful and the way the moonlight reflects on them is such an exquisite thing to witness. There are the color of pink and green spread a little bit on the dark night sky, blending so well with the stardust, making it look like I'm staring at the galaxy that I used to see in pictures before.

It's amazing how a single atom that undergo from a process of evolution turned into something beautiful like this.

A smile curls up on my lips, feeling a little ease as the night sea breeze began blowing towards me. I close my eyes to feel the warmth coming from a night breeze, as if someone is holding me, comforting me from a bad dream that I just had.

But I open my eyes again to look around at bahagya akong nagulat nang may matanaw akong isang lalaki doon sa may wooden boardwalk. Both his hands are gripping tightly on the wooden handrails as he deeply stares down the water that is now invaded with the color of black. Ibang-iba ang kulay nito sa tuwing umaga.

For a second I panicked. What if he's contemplating whether he'll jump or not? What am I gonna do? How am I gonna stop him? I walk back and forth, biting the skin on the side of nails as I give him a brief glance.

He's still gripping on the handrails and his head is hanging in between his shoulders. He looks devastated.

Oh, God, no. He's gonna jump. I have to stop him.

And damn it if that didn't sound ironic coming from me... a girl who committed suicide and ended up being here.

"Ah, fuck it!" I hiss under my breath before storming out of my balcony to enter my room once again. I quickly grabbed my cardigan on the coat rack before storming out of my enormous room but I stop on my tracks the second I saw my Dad bringing some milk and cookies.