Fucked up| Dreamnapnotfound

Jealousy,Jealousy

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I love skipping class. I dont have the mental energy for school, so I leave but stay in the building.

I'm sitting in the last stall in the bathroom, waiting for Clay and the British boy to show up.

Lucky they dont take long, the British boy coming first and then Clay after some awkward small talk about our least favourite teacher.

We all gather around as Clay rolls a joint carefully before lighting it and taking a drag.
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Clay laughs at the stupid joke and takes the blunt back before asking the question I was too scared to ask.

"So what even is your name?"

The brunette thinks for a moment and shrugs,"George"

"That's a pretty name." George blushes and Clay leans forward from the wall before handing me the blunt and resting against the wall again.

I'm just going to blame the drugs on his flirty behaviour, hes always like this when he's high.

I notice them staring at each other for a little too long so I break the silence with a throaty cough and they both turn to look at me.

Clays eyes are bloodshot and dragged down his face, his cheeks flushed and his lips swollen from minor burns.

George on the other hand still looks like an angel fallen from heaven, his mouth is slightly open and his eyes are pink; matching his nose.

"This is almost done, do you want to finish it, George?"

He nods and I reach out to him, letting it fall in between his fingers and letting mine brush over his knuckles by accident.

"I need to sober the fuck up" Clay says, rubbing his eyes and pulling at his hair.

"You go do that then, I'll follow you out in a moment. Go to another bathroom- this places reeks of weed and they'll be able to piece it together easily" I suggest, he smiles at me and takes the blunt out of George's mouth before dropping it, stomping on it, and grabbing my arm to pull me off the toilet and flush the drugs away.

"Is that really the best idea?" George croaks.

Clay shrugs,"too late now"

"Fair enough"

I just close my eyes and try take my mind off of the splitting headache and sickening feeling forming in the pit of my stomach.

Clay leaves the bathroom and George stands up to go with him but I stop the brunette before he can.

"Stay for a minute, it'll look suspicious" I warn.

I probably look like shit right now but I don't really care. The way George is looking at me makes me feel like the way Clay looked at me after years of friendship. Like there was no judgement, I felt safe under his smile and watchful eyes.

I smile back at him and wait until I hear the door to the bathroom close, signalling Clay is gone. This is when my tone turns to anger.

"Back the fuck off my boyfriend, ok? I like you, you're a cool dude but seriously knock off the 'fuck me' eyes"

George raises one eyebrow and scoffs,"he's cute, sure. But he's more into me then I'm into him- I'm not going anywhere near him and this is the first I'm hearing you guys are dating"

"Sorry- I'm just... jealous? He seriously looks like he does like you" a sickness in the pit of my stomach pools up my throat and I turn to throw up, reaching my arm up and grabbing onto the baby changing station.

It's weird, there shouldn't be a baby changing station in a high school but unfortunately Americans are very sexually active.

My mind is so preoccupied with throwing up that I don't realise my sleeve falling down my arm and uncovering my cuts lined down in straight lines, stars, hearts and smilie faces.

George grabs onto my wrist and pulls me up from it.

"D-did you do these yourself?" He stutters.

I pull my arm back and bring my hoodie sleeve down again to look him in the eyes,"yeah but I'm clean now. You don't need to worry about me" I put my hand on his shoulder and smile.

"Yeah but now I'm going to worry, I want to hang out with you guys again. I don't just want to get high and forget about you guys. You're cool!" He smiles a dopey smile.

"Thanks... but I promise I'm clean! I don't cut my wrists anymore! And I'm glad you want to hang out with Clay and I again, I want to too!"

"Does Clay know?" He questions.

"Of course... Clays seen me naked a few times now. I don't know why I feel comfortable telling you this, I'm still really high" I chuckle and remember his face when he opened the bathroom door and saw my arms for the first time as I stepped out of the shower.

Then my face falls as I remember after that. He was angry at me. Angry at himself too. Upset he didn't know and didn't stop me earlier.

I snap back to reality when George plants a kiss on my cheek and walks out of the bathroom stall, leaving me confused and blushing.

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