Fucked up| Dreamnapnotfound

Tension I want to break

I don't think our eyes ever broke contact, only once to glance at the blood that fell from his lips to mine and wonder if it was a sign.

I wish I had taken my chance when I had it. I cant even study without thinking about how his features looked looming over me.

I could smell the old spice off of him and I wish he had gotten close enough for me to taste the minty toothpaste in his mouth.

I just can't stop thinking about it.

I stare at the back of his head in science. He doesn't even know I'm looking until he glances back with a smile.

He's my partners boyfriend.

And I've fallen hard for him.

I know he's thinking of it too because when he bites his lip again he smirks as blood trickles from the cut.

Jesus fuck.

I'm pretty sure he's given me a new kink without intending it.

His lip is swollen from biting it and I guess I should be worried that he's intentionally hurting himself to the point it bleeds like that.

He's always bit his lips from when we met, I feel like he doesn't feel anything there. The way he so effortlessly does it without hesitation is just makes me shiver.

I love it.
———
/SAPNAP/
I cant stop thinking about the wasted opportunity, it circles my mind like clockwork, taunting me.

What if I took George's own advice,"fuck the timing"

I could just kiss him. Standing up in the middle of class and kiss him.

I like that idea but that would out both of us.

My lab partner nudges me and questions my bleeding lip but I assure her that I just bit it and that it's normal.

She nods and smiles.

The teacher says something about a project and I groan internally to myself. We have to come up with an idea and write a bunch of notes.

My partner side eyes me and I glance back at George who's rolling his eyes.

My partner nudges me and asks for my number so she can call me later, I give it to her.

I feel like I might as well get my grades up. There is no way Clay is passing any tests. He has an 87% absence rate because he just can't be bothered.

He needs help. Oh my god.

I still have the envelope. I haven't opened it yet.

He thinks I know the results.
———

George comes up to me after class, smiling innocently.

"What do you want" ask him jokingly, looking him up and down and entering my locker code.

"I want to know what exactly you're getting at making yourself bleed like that"

"What do you mean? Like this?" I bite down on my bottom lip and feel the red fluid pool down my chin and into my mouth.

George winces,"yes. Like that. Doesn't it hurt?"

"No... I've done it basically every day since I was 8. I feel nothing and it's fine by the morning"

"You know... that's a form of self harm"

My tongue feels the cut I made on my lips as I'm suddenly aware of the pain between my thighs from sitting down for too long.

"Yeah... but I don't mean it like that, it's just a thing I do"

George sighs,"can I come over later? My partner won't do shit so I'll just tag along with you and yours"

"Sure"
———