I Shouldn't Love You ( xxxtentacion x reader )

Falling Down

Ski left a while after and it was about 3:30 in the evening we were sitting watching TV . 
" X where do you live ?" I said turning to face him . 
" umm with my grandma .....sometimes " he said turning to face me . 
" sometimes? " 
" well yeah I spend most of my time at Stokeley's house after we came out of jail and my mom kicked me out " he said not meeting my gaze " sucks I know but I ain't mad about it " 
" why not ? "
" it's better as much as I miss her it wasn't working - I was depressed - and it was just  confusing - my thoughts  my everything , it wasn't her it was me " he said taking my drink 
" suicidal ?" I said staring at the roof  

Jahseh froze with the bottle . 
" yeah " he whispered " you get those thoughts too " 
" yeah " I whispered 
" what was your reason ?"  he said staring at the roof like me 
" bullshit life . My mom just - " I sighed " she doesn't even try to get to better and I got the same stupid addition problem - I had to grow up at 12 and 13 and school didn't make it any better so I tried it a couple of times but I woke up every time - Drinking solves my issues though." 
" I feel the exact same way I did or rather I do pills sometimes and weed life fucking sucks bro . but you being secluded and depressed isn't gonna make it any better . Me and Stokeley are your friends now - I'm your friend ." 
" yeah your my friend " I whispered 

We passed around the drink until the bottle was empty and only then did we stop staring at the roof .
" fuck this " he broke the silence" lets do something . "
" do what ?" I said slightly nervous 
" go put on a swim suite were going to the beach get up nigga  " he said hitting my thigh . 

I put on a big hoodie over the bikini and we left . 

We got to the Florida beach and I glared at him 
" too many people " I sighed . He took my hand and I blushed as we walked on the sand setting down the mat , the drinks and snacks . 
" WATER !" he exclaimed recording my disappointed expression. 

I took off my hoodie and he did his shirt . 

Jahseh studied your figure intently seeing your body move from a distance in the club and having all to himself here was different - imagining all the ways he could make you scream his name . 

" Jahseh ?" I said as he eyed me weirdly 
" what ?"
" your staring "
" your sexy " 

I rolled my eyes and tied up my braids and he took my hand and we ran to the waters edge with him pulling me in completely soaking my hair . I swallowed a good set of water and began coughing as he laughed . We floated around for a bit talking and laughing . Jah even started chasing me around
" Jahseh ?" I said not seeing him anymore . I felt two arms around my waist pulling me onto him as I giggled . I turned to admiring his form . My mouth nearly watered while I was eyeing his wet dreads , pretty smile and tatted being . 

We stared at each other for a while , I wrapped my arms around his neck and my feet around his waist , resting my head on his chest . 
" you trust me ?" he said wrapping his arms around my waist . I squinted . 
" why ?" 
" yes or no y/n ?" he said sighing 
" kinda " 
" bitch stop being difficult come on"
" yes" I smiled . 
" good " 

He took us out a bit far while I  whined and complained . I gasped a bit feeling his hands cup my ass keeping me up . Jahseh and I swayed with the waves in silence with my head on his chest as I relaxed . I squeal a bit with him groping my ass . 
" Jahseh ...." I said looking up at him. I got down glaring at him . " you know I can't - " 

My eyes widen feeling  his hands quickly pick me up , our eyes never left each others . 
" I 'm happy about what happened at school " he said now facing me as I blushed directly in front of him . 
" why? now everybody thinks I want you " 
" do you ?" he said 
I turned away putting my head on his shoulder . He ducked me under . 
" WHAT THE HELL " 
" answer " he laughed 
" no-" he dunked me again 
" answer Y/n " he said 
" you answer then me " I said trying to reason 
" ladies first " 
" okay go ahead " 
* dunks again * 
" is you calling me a bitch ............... bitch " he said with a twisted expression 
I laughed at his expression 
" answer Jah " 
" fine - yes I want you " he said turning away 
" I didn't think you would actually want me - your just saying that to hit " I said shoving his shoulder 
" ayo chill - if I wanted to hit I would have or I would have tried - I don't want to do that shit yet, I feel something more with you." Jahseh wouldn't even look at me , I'm glad he didn't  see me because I was blushing stupidly .  " your turn now " 
" maybe I do - something is different about you ." I smiled still with my head on his shoulder . 

" I will take that shit as a yes - you finna let me take you out ?" 
I didn't answer, I was too busy staring at the water then suddenly I was under it . 
" Y/N !" he said 
" huh " 
" you heard what I asked ." 
Waving my hand in the water truly oblivious to what he asked . 
" yeah sure " I smiled 
" aight then tomorrow I'll pick you up at like 7 or 8 " 
" okay" I kissed his cheek and eased down from his grasp . 
" aye where you going " 

" RACE YOU TO THE SHORE LAST ONE THERE GETS NO ALCOHOL FOR A WEEK ." I yelled already starting . 
" AYE  WAIT WAIT YOU FUCKING CHEATING YOU GOT A HEAD START " he yelled trying to catch up . 

We reached the shore and he held my foot and tackled me to the ground landing right on top of me as we laughed . I twisted and turned easing away - I finally pushed him off but he kept a hold on my foot . 

" You don't need anymore beer " 
" oh yeah ........ well take it from me then " I said crawling on the sand 
" fuck " he mumbled still not catching up as I made my way to the mat .  In one last desperate attempt he tripped me up but caught me and threw me over his shoulder opening the beers and handing me one . 

He left his hand print on my ass while he was at it 
" all mine " he said sitting on the mat " you lost by the way so thats your last beer for a week " 
" very funny - its a tie - I got a head start and you cheated . " I said eating some puffy cheetos . 
" that's your last drink for the week " he laughed sarcastically .