we the cursed, nct dream ✔

part forty-eight

⇉ the one where she's finally free.

part forty-eight

"Hey."

Juno glances up at the voice from where she is packing some things into a bag. Jaemin is lingering in the doorway of her ward. "Hi."

He enters tentatively, shoulders hunched with tension. Juno gazes at him passively, waiting on him to speak whatever is evidently on his mind. The silence doesn't last very long. "I'm... I'm really sorry about telling the others about the pill. I just-"

"It's okay." Juno shoves her hands into the pockets of her sweatpants. "I did a stupid thing. You had every right."

"Not really, since you asked me to keep it on the down low. I really am sorry." Jaemin steps over to perch on the edge of the small couch in the room, eyes drifting to her bags. "Is Han finally letting you leave?"

It's been about a week since she woke up, but Juno has remained under the strict watch of the doctor up until today. She doubts that it has anything to do with Dr. Han being concerned for her, but is more about what she's finding in the results of the multitude of tests she's been running on Juno. "Yeah, finally. I miss my room. How's Shawty been?"

Jaemin smiles at the mention of the kitten. "Good. We almost got caught with her, actually, one of those nights during that week you were out. There was an inspection out of nowhere."

"I keep missing those, somehow." Juno straightens. "So you didn't get caught?"

"Of course not. Jeno stuffed her up his shirt."

There's a pause as Juno registers that information. Then a tiny smirk makes its way onto her lips. "Lucky Shawty."

Jaemin bursts into laughter as Juno watches him. She's relieved to notice that he's been looking steadily better, especially after Chaewon's murder. Maybe he's finally decided to listen to her and stopped blaming himself.

Juno wishes she could follow her own advice.

They stay quiet for a minute after Jaemin's chuckles subside. "I'm sorry things didn't end up working out with you and Jeno."

Juno carelessly lifts a shoulder. "It was what it was."

Jaemin struggles to read into her tone. "Well, if it makes you feel any better-"

"I don't need to feel better about it." The words come out a little too vehemently. Juno immediately feels guilty for snapping and sinks onto the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry. I just would rather not think about all that."

"I get it," he tells her quietly. His eyes search her face. "Juno."

"Hmm."

"Are you okay?"

She turns her face upward, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. "I feel like I need to come up with more creative ways to start answering that question." Juno puffs a breath out through her lips, cheeks swelling. "But honestly? I've never been so not okay in my life."

"How do you feel about the documents?"

She knows exactly what he's speaking of without his needing to elaborate. "It's weird, isn't it? Knowing that there's been something inherently wrong with you, but having a medical name slapped onto it all of a sudden?" She chuckles darkly. "Of course I'm fucking bipolar. It's like it explains so much, but also explains nothing at all."

Jaemin stays quiet, sensing that she has more to say.

"And then I feel so shitty about feeling shitty, because I'm not the only one going through this. I'm not the only one being pumped with drugs. I'm not the only one who's ever overdosed. I'm not the only one living in this wretched place; I'm not the only one struggling to stay afloat. I'm not the only one who's just discovered the existence of a mental illness I never knew of, but it feels like I am, because I just get so fucking stuck inside of my own head."