Curse

Prologue

"Do you feel guilty?"

Walang emosyon akong tumitig sa doctor na nasa harapan ko. Sa gilid niya ay si Bea na seryoso ang tingin saakin.

Do I feel guilty?

I looked at my hands and felt that it had blood on it. Not my blood though. It was someone else's blood. Did I become the monster I'm afraid I'll be?

"I don't know." I answered quietly. HIndi ko alam. HIndi ko alam kung ako ba talaga ang gumawa o ibang tao.

I smiled bitterly. Impossible na iba ang gumawa dahil narito pa ang ilang marka sa katawan ko na nagpapatunay na ako ang may kagagawan nun. Tinignan ko ang marka ng pag pulupot ko sa kadenang ginamit ko upang itali sa kanya.

SIguro tama nga sila. I'm a curse. It's like a spell embedded in my soul. Dala dala kahit saan, dala dala hanggang kamatayan.

"You are a curse to this family!"

I always remember how my father would look at me. Hatred and anger. Parang parating sinasabi ng mga mata niya na hindi niya ako tinuturing na anak niya.

To him, I was just a stranger, a person he can hate forever. A curse in his life.

Kaya siguro maging ako hindi alam kung ano ba talaga ang totoong ako. Dahil hindi ko alam... hindi ko na alam.

"Cipher, you have to tell us the truth. Please, it's for your own sake." Bea begged as she looked at me with her sad eyes.

Walang emosyon ko siyang tinignan. Pagod na pagod na ako. Nahihirapan na ako sa lahat ng 'to pero hindi ko maipakita because I caused this to myself. Isa akong malas kaya hindi nakakapagtakang magulo ang buhay ko.

"What did you do to him?"

I remember Butler Ray's question. Diretso akong tumitig sa Doctor at kay Bea.

"I killed him."

Maybe this is the reason people avoid me and I also avoid them. I'm a monster.

That may be the reason why I always avoid being attached to people. I always let them leave me. At first it was hard, nakasanayan mo na tapos biglang mawawala. But I eventually got used to it.

They come and leave. It's an unending cycle. It's a cycle in my life.

Maybe it's the reason why I always avoid her eyes because every time I look at her I just want to risk it all.

She's a blessing and I am the curse. We cannot be together because it will destroy the flow of balance.

"Mariano, come with me."

She always says that with her strict and serious voice.

"Did I do something wrong po?"

And I would quietly question her kapag nasa opisina na niya kami.

"Arrange those portfolios. In order."

That's always her answer after staring at me for too long with her curious gaze. I would quietly accept those folders in her hand and sit on the sofa as she sat in her swivel chair.

"W-What?"I heard her Bea say with disbelief.

"I killed them."I said without feeling any remorse. I turned my head to looked at Bea pero biglang nagbago ang paligid.

I am back to the mansion where everything happened.

"Ahhh!" Nahihirapang sigaw ni Lancelot habang ang kalahating katawan niya ay nakalubog sa acid. Is it that painful?

"A-Aizel, parang awa mo n-na..." Humihikbing sabi nito at sinubukang umahon sa pagkakalubog kaya ginamit ko ang kadenang nasa kamay at itinali ang ulo niya rito at sa may switch ng shower.

"A-AH!!" Muling sigaw nito nang pinutol ko ang ilang daliri niya. I shove it in his mouth so he can stop screaming then I proceeded in front of the sink to wash my bloody hands.

Blood is dripping on my hands. Hinugasan ko ito bago napatigil nang makita ang reflection sa salamin.

Marumi at puno ng dugo, halos hindi ko na makilala ang sarili dahil sa mga matang wala man lang emosyon. Who is this person in front of me?

"Who are you?"I questioned myself.

Nanginginig na hinawakan ko ang mukha. I saw fire in my reflection as a hand reached out to me. I look at it before accepting to shake it.

The fire burned me but it didn't hurt. And maybe it was an indication that I became one with the devil.

I finally lost it.