The Rules to Redemption

Chapter 48: Tears will flow

Sorry I was recovering from Spiderman No way home because that shit hurt worse than a heartbreak.

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"No seriously Damien. You should be in hospital." I raise my eyebrow at him.
"Don't tell me where I should be T." He smirks kissing me, silently but whole.
And I could do nothing but kiss him back, to rid myself of everything wrong and to just be with him in darkness and in pain.
I held his face in the cups of my palms because I'd missed the way his jawline complemented them and he held me, in a hundred different ways that I couldn't begin to explain.
He held my body, heart and soul at his fingertips, letting me falter into a darkness next to his.

He pushes me back onto his desk and places himself between my thighs, hands drifting to my waist almost holding me down though I'd never go anywhere.
His lips move to my neck, the softness of them remembering every part of me that it missed though my body seems to react the same to him. Always. Whether I forget his touch or know it entirely, it will never fail to break me so much so that it was only him who held me together.

"Did you miss me Tallia?" He asks.
"Part of you." I smirk, unbuttoning his shirt.
He raises his eyebrow stepping back in shock.
"What?" I ask confused, hooking my finger around his belt and pulling him back to me.
He grabs both my wrist yet still looks at me with a face I can't seem to understand.
"You're just using me for my body?" He sighs in despair. "What kind of objectification is that?"
"The objectification that you're hot and I'm hot and together we're hot and the sex is good?" I raise my eyebrow back.

"Wow? Is that how it is Tallia. I'm just an object to you." He nods sarcastically.
I roll my eyes grabbing the back of his neck and kissing him harshly, "if you don't want to fuck me, just say so."
A smirk embellishes his face for a moment and I could see the lust in his eyes until he realised he had broken character, "I don't think I can get past you using me for my body." He shrugs.
"DAMIEN! You literally use the back of my shoulder as a phone stand to watch your TV shows on and then shout at me when I move and the phone falls." I retaliate.
"You're shoulders a good height for my phone to stand on." He shrugs.

"Fine, fine. Clearly someone doesn't want any." I lift myself off his desk and he pushes me back down.
"I didn't tell you to go T." He raises his eyebrow, pushing me back down.
"Last time I checked, you appointed me as your mafia boss so technically I am in charge." I fold my arms, face more smug than his.
"Alright Boss." He hooks a hand around my thigh pulling me more into him and I inhale sharply at the feeling of him between me. "You're in charge."
I've always been in charge Dandelion.

Though I take his words at an arms length, pushing him off me and back into his desk chair before climbing on top to straddle his lap.
"I'll put you in charge more often T." He kisses me possessively with passion and I grind my hips into him, his hands on my waist allowing the act. I moaned into his mouth and he reciprocated it with a smile.
I was worried, he always craved pain though he just came out of surgery, I didn't want to hurt him...not that he could be hurt.

His shirt was off and I don't know how but my flat palms found themselves to his chest I'm guessing to savour this moment, to savour him. Because I had almost lost him. I needed this, I needed to be reminded that this was us, me and him.
He takes my black blazer off my shoulders then unbuttons my white shirt leaving it open before flipping me over so I sit on the chair and he stands above me.
I analyse his body because despite seeing it so many times, it's become an instinct to appreciate certain parts of his perfection. Though this time unlike the ones before there were stitches and a scar and something about the sight of that broke a very significant part in me.

He saw the look on my face, the fear in my eyes, the implosion of my heart and how badly I needed to cry. I just wanted to cry but I wouldn't let myself because of this stupid subconscious rule I've taught myself to follow.
Don't let anyone see you cry. People will use it to manipulate you.
I don't know how to handle sadness because all we've been taught is to release it by crying but what do you do when you can't cry?
That sadness just manifests itself into untamed anger and that's not any better for someone in the Mafia.