Gurya (Doll) / Ehsas e Talluq (Realisation of Relationship)

Part-13

It was 11 p.m. The night was dark and a little cold. She wanted to sleep but what happened in the hospital 2 days ago was still in her mind. In the past 2 days, she tried to avoid Ahil as much as she could.
'Should I talk to Ayaan bhai?'
'No. That means I'm taking his help. This is my problem and I'll solve it myself.'

'Hoor, you know you're working hard. You know how much sincere you've been to this profession and medical study. You know how much you love this. No one can question your worth and passion. Don't let some random Man make you feel weak. You aren't working to impress him. You don't need his validation.' These thoughts wandered in her mind as she saw a quote on Facebook that related to her situation. The post helped her alot and gave a new direction to her thoughts.
'I'll just keep working the way I used to. Let him think whatever he thinks.As if I care.'
She didn't let him make her feel bad. She was sincere & she knew it. What he thinks, doesn't matter to her, at-least at this point .
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"Raima beta, phir kia socha hai tumne?"
(So Raima , what did you decide?)

Nimra entered her room as the door was open and placed a cup of tea on the table beside her. Raima was working on her laptop since there was an important deal and she didn't want to ruin it. It was 11 pm and she was still awake. She had university in the morning so she slept in the afternoon. After her chachi's illness that day, she was more focused on work so she can help her aunt as much as possible. Ayesha was an adult but Eshal and Maryam were kids and they needed their mom.

"Chachi Jan main kaisy karungi? Ye ek zimedari hai abhi toh me prh rhi hun."
(Chachi Jan how will I do it? It's a responsibility. I am still studying.)

Shazia had asked for Raima's hand in marriage for her younger son Hassan and Nimra had talked to Raima and given her the time to think about it. It had been a week since she talked to her and now wanted her to give an answer. Raima was very dear to her but she also wanted her to live happily. It wasn't like she was unhappy. She did not want to leave them but Hassan was a nice person and she wanted a person like him for Raima who would treat her and her sisters with respect in case something happens to her.

"Main unse kahungi ke sirf nikkah krlen abi, rukhsati kch months bad krlen. Hassan bohut acha bacha hai."

(I'll tell them to do nikkah only, rukhsati after few months. Hassan is  a nice man.) {Nikkah means official marriage contract. Rukhsati means moving in.}

"Hmm likin ap janti hain...:"
Raima bowed her head down and played with the bedsheet as she hesitantly tried to say something.
(Hmm but you know...)

"Kia janti hun?"
(I know what?)

Nimra carefully examined Raima's face but she wasn't looking towards her, she was looking down. Raima abruptly raised her and stared into her eyes. Nimra could see the doubts and questions in her eyes but ignored them.

"Tum bari ho sabse, zimadari ho meri. Main chahti hun tm charon ka koi apna ho, agar mujhay kuch hojaye toh."
(You are eldest and my responsibility. I want that there should be someone who is with you guys if something happens to me.)

"Allah na karay..."
(May Allah never make this happen)

Raima abruptly said and sighed. Nimra was not wrong on her part as well since they were 4 girls and chachi. Chachi only wanted someone who would be there for them if they were in any trouble. She thought for a few seconds before giving her answer in yes.
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It was 2 a.m. and she was wide awake. She wanted to sleep but the thoughts of getting married were not letting her. It wasn't like she hated Hassan or he seemed a bad person to her. But she had her own insecurities and fears which she was not yet comfortable to talk about. What's the point of her opening up if he leaves her and she'll become anxious? What if he doesn't understand her fears?
If she doesn't tell him before marriage, he'll know after it. All these thoughts were messing up her mind. She finally stood up from bed and took a pill from the drawer. She shouldn't be using it, but she had to.
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"Wania, kal phone aya tha mjhy Nimra ka, Unho ne masbat jawab diya hai Alhamdulillah likin wo sirf Nikkah karna chahtay hain abhi."
(Wania, Nimra called me yesterday. They have given a positive answer Alhamdulillah but they only want a Nikkah.)