Chaos magic: Doctor Strange x Fem!reader

Chapter 46 - I'm sorry

"There you are!" You pop up beside him, taking his arm.

"Y/n," Stephen put on a fake smile. "I need to talk to you,"

"Great! I do too," you nod at Anna before dragging him away. Strange gave one final glance to Loki, the god then looking to Anna who ignored him, just like all evening. "Alright," you had taken him onto the balcony, the snow starting to fall as you spoke, "this is very important to me-"

"Y/n-"

"Ah, ah, Doc, it's taken a lot of time for me to do this," your breath was shaky, the  frost along your skin starting to trigger droplets of blue. "You said that you knew that Jotuns were nothing like the stories. I was your example, but you've never seen one for yourself,"

"Y/n..." he was dreading what was coming next, time ticking away on his wrist.

"But listen, I need to do this, I need you to know that I trust you enough because... I've never done this before," taking a hold of his hands, you gave a bright smile which only made things on his end much worse. "I trust you, I trust you enough to do the one thing I vowed never to,"

He felt you cup his face, his eyes closed as you lean in for a kiss. This would be the very last time. Every second was needed to remember. Soft skin against his, somehow warm touch and roaming hands.

"I trust you to not hurt me like others have," your breath against his, you wait for him to open his eyes which he eventually does.

You were... stunning. Brilliant blue skin with those ruby eyes he could stare into all day and night. The intricate lines along every inch to frame while snow white streaks line your h/c hair like his greying ones did.

"Y/n, you shouldn't have done that," he gulps.

"What?" This wasn't what you expected.

"Trusting me? Showing me... this?" His hand gestures over your figure, this was breaking him by the second. "I didn't mean for you to be so... sentimental towards me. Thinking that I could ever like, let alone love something like you?" He scoffs, "it was nice while it lasted but you're becoming too romantically clung towards me and I really didn't want that,"

"What... did you want?" Your tears had started to fall but froze right on your cheeks while frost started to creep on the railing glass, cracking it slowly.

"Sex. I mean, come on, I don't think anyone would want more, let alone me," he took a step back as your fists clench up. "And seeing you now like this? Maybe I was wrong about finding those illustrations beautiful. They're nothing but modified art, so thank you for showing me the real thing,"

There were no words left. Nothing was registering in your head except the icy pain stabbing through your heart. The Æsir form was flickering back and forth when suddenly the glass railing cracked much louder, one pane nearly fully shattering as you held back any sob you need to let out.

Instead your hand raises, a rough strike landing to his face, then a back handed slap executed right after. Red marks his cheeks, one hand holding onto one side then the other, jaw being rubbed as you stood there in front of him.

"You worthless piece of shit... I trusted you!" You yell, catching any other words in your throat. "I thought for once I could be happy and here I am proven wrong again!"

Stephen bites his inner cheeks, hand stuffed into his pant pockets while the temperature dropped more significantly.

"I knew it was all too good to be true,"

"Wait... Y/n." He needed to fix this. He would explain everything but now he needed you to know that all those words were lies. Polar opposites to how he felt.

"No. Save it," you grab the necklace and rip it off your neck, holding it out. "I hope you got what you wanted. Don't worry, you won't ever see me again,"

He held his hand out to catch the necklace but you had dropped it by his feet next to shattered glass and fallen snow.

"Merry fucking Christmas, asshole," you storm off, Jotun form carelessly shown. Every mended piece of your soul had been torn and ripped from its place, every single heart string cut with blunt scissors held by Strange.

"Fuck," Stephen messes up his hair while stressfully combing through it. His hand hit the metal bar over the glass, shaking more rapidly as felt the cool winds further the failed aspect of holding back his emotions. A groan leaves him when pain shoots through every nerve, knees buckling.

"Merry Christmas, everyone," you stop at the group who were surprised by your form and presence. "I will be returning the Asgard permanently to further my Royal duties. Thank you for all that you have done,"

They were beyond confused and shocked, still trying to process it all. "What did that weasel do?!" Thor grabbed Mjolnir.

"Nothing..." Anna turns to see Loki sipping at another drink, "this was Loki's doing,"

"What?" Nat took out a taser.

Her mind wracked for a solution. "Us three will return to Asgard, Thor," she looks up to the god. "Wait for further instructions, I will sort this out,"

"And what about Strange?"

"Wait for my word," she says, "someone call Peter to... say his goodbyes,"

~~~

"Uhm... Y/n?" There was a knock at your door which made you stop all the rapid magic which packed every item away.

"Peter? What are you doing here, sweetheart?" You wipe your tears away, worry taking over when you see his slightly watery eyes. "Oh, pumpkin, what happened?"

"Are you actually leaving?" He chokes on a sob. "I don't want you to go,"

"I have to... I'm so sorry, Peter, I have to," you repeat softly, hugging him tight, "oh, sweetheart, I really wish I didn't have to go,"

"Don't you have a choice? The letter said that didn't it?" He looks up with trembling lips.

"It did, yes, but this is what's best... for everyone," you combs through his gelled hair. "I am sorry... I promise I will come back when I can but-"

"Don't... don't make promises you can't keep," he looks down to the floor, "I don't want a maybe... I just-"

Your eyes fall, one last mutter: "I'm sorry..."

~~~

:)

- Anna ❤️