Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

Chapter 27 Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

I know that I've been gone for quite a while, but I'll let you know that I've been working on this story all this while and it's going great. Right now I'm in the mid-thirties (for chapter numbers) and it's almost done. When I go back and edit it, though, many parts will be taken out and either thrown away or moved around. I need to shorten it up no matter how much I like it the way it is. Thank you all for being so supportive... Spread the word!!! I have 109 fans and I'm glad to know that I've somehow touched the hearts of that many people, but let's keep it growing, okay?? Well, ya'll know I love youuuuu!! xox

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Chapter 27

     As I ran I stared around at the branches above me, trying to remember how Derek had maneuvered us to where I wanted to go. Should I go left or right? I looked around for old snowmobile tracks, but didn’t see anything through my tears.

     My legs told me to stop. My body told me to find some hot chocolate. My socks told me to dry off.

     My heart told me to keep going.

     Through the snow I pushed on and on. Wind tussled against my hair and nipped my cheeks, but still, I kept going. Snow sloshed against my face and got into my boots, but still, I kept going. My heart throbbed and longed for answers, but still, I kept going.

     And when I finally got there, I nestled against my tree, buried my face in its branches, and cried until my eyes went dry.

     “Brandon.” I said his name with no emotion and no tears. “I will never shed another tear because of you again.” I swore to him. “I’m done being in pain because of you.” I whispered and wiped my eyes. “You’re gone. God has you now and you’re in heaven. You don’t need me anymore. I hate to let you go.”

     For what felt like hours, but was realistically only about twenty minutes, I sat staring into the trunk of another tree. What I should have felt was a mystery to me. It didn’t hurt to let him go, but it didn’t give me any relief either. I felt empty, but a good empty. An empty that freed me from sleepless nights, screaming fits, and long days of dragging depression. It was an empty I could appreciate.

     Yet, the idea of simply forgetting Brandon was something that would’ve previously been unthinkable. Even now, I couldn’t wrap my mind around it, but if I didn’t let him go I’d be being unfair to myself.

     “Now what?” I asked to myself.

     All that took place in response was more snow swirling in the wind. I closed my eyes and let myself drift off.

     The gentle crunch of snow aroused me enough that I opened my eyes. I didn’t see anything within my range of sight so I closed them again, figuring that whatever it had been was gone now.

     “Samantha.” I heard a voice say.

     I knew that voice.

     Smiling, I turned away from him and hid my face in my hands.

     “C’mon, Sam.”

     “Ugh.” I groaned with my face still buried in my hands.

     “Wakie, wakie.”

     “No.” I said stubbornly, wondering if all of this was a dream, but deciding against it after I felt the wind on my face.

     “Please?”

     This time I opened my eyes and saw his brown eyes stare urgently back at me. “Don’t be mad.” I whispered, remembering how I’d gotten there. “I overreacted.”