The Silent Girl

14.

TW: talk to self harm. 

'Ella'

"So, how was your session with Miss Bright?" Luke asks me from across the table. I just nod with my head looking towards the ground. 

"Ells" Micky says, making me look up to their concern faces. 

"It was fine" I shrug off, I had been worrying about that tiny notebook since I left the office. 

What if I wrote the wrong thing? Or if I wrote too much? If I offered people? 

"What are we doing after school?" I internally thank for Noah changing the topic of conversation. 

"Not much really" Luke shrugs, looking at me with curious eyes. "Ells, plans?" 

"I was just gonna stay in and do my homework. Dad's not hom-" I get caught off by Micky suggesting. 

"Study time round Ells. She ain't being left alone" Micky tells everyone, pretending that I wasn't here.  

"Good idea, Ells alright with you?" Noah asks, looking at me with a smile. 

"It's fine with me but I'm not a baby, I don't need babysitters." I say sternly. 

I love my best friends to bits but sometimes they can be, well a little, annoying. And a little protective... But I still love them. And I know that they are just trying help me. 

"We are just trying to protect you, Ella." Noah tells me, all three of them looking at me. 

"I know, I just want some sort of freedom. I have camera watching our the front of our house that is linked to the police, I get woken up by my dad, you lot usually stay with me at night so I'm not alone." I rant, letting all my frustration and emotion onto all of them and by the end I was crying, the warm tears rolling down my cheeks as they watched me in confusion, I'm guessing. 

The loud bell suddenly rang out throughout the school and everyone began to move. I knew I had tutor with them but I didn't sit with them. So, I stood, grabbing my bag and walking towards the correct room. 

'Miss Bright' 

I was reading Ella's book again. This girl is going through so much and I just want to help her. 

'The only thing I have on my mind right now, is the fact that I've lost my mother, which sounds mad because she was more than horrible to me, but I kinda miss her. And please tell me, someone, anyone, tell me if that is wrong. But also the fact that my dad has lost his wife. If Noah, Micky or Luke hadn't told anyone, I'd still have my full family, my dad would be more than happy, I'd be happy that my dad was happy and well my mum I don't know what was going on with her hand, she still confused me.

I felt bad for breaking my mother and dad up, I didn't do anything wrong and neither did dad. So I hope he wasn't blaming himself for what she did to me. 

However, I blame myself. The marks on my arms are getting deeper and the burns on my thighs are becoming more noticeable. Nobody knows. But now, I'm telling someone and it makes me so nervous.

The next thing I really want to get off my chest is the protectiveness. Bless them. But my friends, Noah, Micky and Luke are sooooooo protective. Yes I get it. I went through a lot of messed up things but I don't need someone with me 24/7. 

I started getting nightmares the other day. My mother, father, Luke, Micky and Noah were all hurting me. The boys taking it in turns to take advantage of me, my mother just laughing. I hated that nightmare, it was worse them the monster under the bed as a kid.

My dad also took me to the doctors and I've been prescribed this medication that tastes horrible, I don't want to take it but yet again they all force me to. 

My hand hurts now, I've written this in an hour so I'm going to do something else. Until next time.' 

My head is crazy, I'm thinking about what I have just read and what I read yesterday. I need to call her father. 

I grab the school's telephone before putting it to my ear and dialling the number I had in my head. It rings a couple of times before I hear a masculine voice through the end of it. 

"Hello" It says. 

"Hi, this is Miss Bright, the school's safeguarding leader. Is this Mr Brood?" I check even know I already know who it is. 

"Yes, this is him. Is Ella ok?" His concerning voice is heard quietly and I immediately wonder why he is so quiet. 

"Yeah, she is safe right now." I tell him, hearing a relieved sigh. "I just wanted to draw you attention to something, do you like me to schedule a meeting or say over the phone?" 

"Over the phone is fine" He tells me, I give a small smile into the phone, staring at the open book in front of me. 

"You understand that I gave Ella a notebook to express her emotion, feelings angry, whatever she wanted to get off her chest." I hear a small, 'mhm' making me carry on. "She has mentioned some self harm" I hear a small gasp. 

"Oh my god, I had no idea." He gets out quickly. 

"It's going to be ok, Mr Brood, I'm going to talk to Ella in school and maybe I think it is best that you have a little chat later" I say sympathetically, trying to reassure. This poor family.

"I can't believe it" He stresses, through the phone I hear a door slam, I wonder what he is doing. 

"I can assure you that I will support Ella in away that I can, as well as you." I tell him, staring again at the neat writing of the 16-yearold. 

"Thank you, I'll talk to her later" He dismisses. "Thank you for bringing this to my attention" 

"No problem, Mr Brood. Goodbye now" 

And I hang up...wondering what to do now. 

'end of 14.'

:)

Posted: 31.3.22