The Silent Girl

34.

TW - SH! 

'Ella'

I was finally home and I couldn't tell you how exhausted I was.

I was angry too. I had revived a detention from my English teacher as a result of the shouting matching at Amber, Roxy and Emma.

They were getting in trouble as well. And they were getting moved out of my class. Even though, all the other classes were full of teenagers, they made some amendments.

Luke had stayed with my during the panic attack, as well as Buddy.

Then I ended up doing the last lesson in Miss Bright's office.

She spoke to me for a while too.

I told her all about the out of school therapist, which I had now left. She told me to get writing in the book again. She said that it helped me.

She gave it back and I looked at the past writing. Cringing at my neat handwriting that had now indeed changed. It's changes every week, doesn't everyone's?

Buddy was ok. That was the only thing that I was worrying about all day.

Now, the pair of us were sat on my bed. And I was anxious.

Kaylee was coming round. I don't actually know what job title she has. But she checks my room and my body for harm.

She's nice, I just get anxious of someone looking in my private room and my body.

Buddy was laying over my legs and I was stroking his head.

Buddy is a working dog all the time but it doesn't mean he doesn't rest and deserve to be a pet sometimes.

Which is why I'm not strict about people touching him. But he knew what he was for and he know that I was his priority.

And he was mine.

There was a knock on the front door and I heard my dad greeting Kaylee. I heard the pair ascend the staircase and then a soft knock on my bedroom door.

"Hey Ella" My dad enters first, followed by Kaylee.

"Hello Ella, how are you?" She asks, coming closer and putting her bag on top of my bed.

"I'm ok" I mumble, looking directly at Buddy, not wanting to make eye contact with Kaylee.

"Ella, I'm going to put the kettle on. Would you like a hot chocolate, honey?" My dad asks, he's not allowed to be in the room when she is searching and I must be in.

"Yes please dad" I smile slightly at him before he leaves the room and descends the staircase.

"How is school, Ella?" Kaylee asks me, pulling over my desk chair and sitting beside the bed. I was sat up against pillows.

"It's erm, stressful I guess" I reply, pulling with my fingers in my lap. Buddy notices this and moves his head to my hands. Making me stroking his fur with my fingers.

"Before I check your bedroom, is there anything you need to tell me?" She asks me, hoping for one answer and I give it to her.

"Nope" I reply, popping the 'p' with my lips.

"Ok, may I check your bedroom now?" She checks and I just nod, tickling Buddy's head.

Kaylee begins her job at checking my room but stops swiftly when my dad enters.

"Sorry" He places one mug on my desk. "That's yours Kaylee and Ella" He says, coming over to one of my bedsides, placing the mug on the coaster that is always there. "There's yours. Be careful it's very hot" And with that he leaves after two thank yous are said.

Kaylee carries on checking all of hiding places in my room. She asks me to get off the bed.

Buddy whines and walks over to his bed flopping into it. Looking like he could fall asleep at any moment.

She checks inside my pillow, inside my duvet and under the mattress.

Before gesturing that I may sit back to the bed, she sits in the chair.

I do as she allows me to do, and sit back on the sit, against the pillows.

Buddy comes back over to jump on the bed and comes over to my side, and lays done, his head resting on my leg.

"Now, I need to check your body ok? Can I do that?" She asks, looking from me to Buddy.

"Well, you kind of have to" I say sarcastically, sighing. I hated this.

"Yes I do have to" She says with a small smile as well. "Can I see your arms?"

I take a few seconds to think. Before I take my cardigan off, showing a massive burn that is recovering. And I few small cuts next to it.

"When did these happen?" She takes my arm in both of hers gently. Referring to the cuts, she had never seen before.

I don't reply.

After a couple of seconds she says, "Ella, if you don't tell me, you know the consequences."

Yeah yeah...

"I will ask you again. When did this happen?"

"Today"

"Where?" She says shortly, letting go of my arm and grabbing a small camera and a notepad from her bag.

"In school" I reply shortly.

"With?" She is making notes now, I just roll my eyes and answer her questions.

"School scissors"

"Ok" She finishes writing notes and grabs the camera. She gently takes my arm in one hand, holds the camera up to my arm and takes a few photos. "Can I see your stomach?"

I don't say anything, just pull my top up a little bit, so she could see my stomach.

She takes another half an hour talking to me about self harming myself.

Then she leaves, thank god. It annoys me.

I know I need to stop, but there is something drawing me to one part of my live.

'The silent girl'

'end of 34'

bonjour :)

~P

Posted: 17.6.22