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Orion Warner
In my twenty years of existence, I could count the number of times I partied with my fingertips. My first party was in my freshman year of high school, the only year I shared with my brother, Leander.
It was a party to celebrate the win against the rival football team. Since Leander was the quarterback, he had to definitely attend. He tagged me along to give me the ultimate high school experience.
I stayed in a corner with a glass of water. With all the people, I had one of my most intense panic attacks ever.
It took more than ten minutes for me to calm down. Immediately, I texted Leander that I was going back home.
That night when I saw my reflection in the mirror, I could see that I was as pale as a ghost, with tear-stained cheeks along with crescent shaped bruises formed on my palms.
In college, I tried going to a few parties with Sven but I ran out of the house before it became too overwhelming.
Dr Brown always told me that I had to start with baby steps.
All the familiar feelings of a panic attack returned like a wave when I saw all the unknown people at the party.
They weren't unknown but friends of Cleo and Xael from high school. They knew them very well but for me, they were just plain strangers.
At Vira, they were also strangers, so I always tried to get my drink before the rush in the morning. In the beginning, I used to get my drink just a few minutes after opening. But as time went by, I was able to get it at least before the coffee rush.
Looking around, I thought that I could bolt to the nearest empty room, but I couldn't make it with the crowd. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking. It felt like I was drowning underwater in a swimming pool. I was not able to breathe.
This wasn't a normal panic attack. It was a hundred times more intense. I slid down the wall I was standing at, and wrapped my arms around my knees, rocking my body back and forth. I started counting backwards from one hundred; anything to get myself to breathe properly.
Tears were spilling on my cheeks and down my face. I closed my eyes and continued to count; this was the only thing that I could remember to do though Dr Brown would have told me many more methods.
A few minutes went by, I felt arms wrap around me tightly and bring me to their chest. I could smell the lavender scent. I knew who it was. Xael.
She gently asked, "Orion, what did you eat for lunch?"
I tried to inhale and exhale. "Um . . . double cheeseburger and fries," I sniffled.
"Yeah. Now, how did the brownies taste? And be honest."
My breathing was starting to even, and oxygen entered my lungs. The tremble in my hands was starting to decrease laggardly. I could feel Xael's hands moving up and down my hand tenderly.
