Chapter 12

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Perrie's POV:

Jade's hands, softly shaking my shoulder, wake me up from my nap. "Hi, I wanted to wait for you to wake up, but the food is getting cold." The brunette's voice sounds shy and when I turn to face her, she gives me an uncertain smile.

"Thanks, Jade. You should have woken me when you got back. I didn't need to sleep that badly." The brunette just shrugs and gets busy opening up the food. "You look very peaceful when you sleep. I don't like to disturb it."

I smirk a little at the thought of Jade watching me sleep as I walk over to her and sit down on the ground, leaning my back against her desk. "How much do I owe you for this?" I ask, gesturing to the food in front of us.

"Nothing, it's my treat for you compromising." She says shyly and I'm fazed again by how different she is than earlier today. Well, actually, today might have been her most versatile day so far.

"Actually, I wanted to check if you're sure about your decision. I know that I kind of forced you to give in, but if you don't want this, then you can tell me." Her brown eyes look for any uncertainty in mine, but I'm sure she can't find any.

"I'm sure, Jade. You didn't force me to do anything. If I really didn't want you to touch and tease me like that, I wouldn't have teased you in the first place. If sitting and eating here with you like this is part of this friends-with-benefits thing, I'm completely fine with it." Jade sends me a warm and relieved smile at my words. Clearly, she was scared to have forced me, which she obviously didn't.

"Of course, this is part of it. The word friends in the phrase friends-with-benefits does mean hanging out without having our hands all over each other, doesn't it?" She says, saying things that aren't all that innocent, but managing to make them sound like it nevertheless.

We start eating our food in what feels like a comfortable silence to me, but when I look at Jade, there's a deep frown on her face. "Hey." Her head shoots up at the sound of my voice and the frown leaves a little bit. "What's on your mind?"

She sighs heavily, the frown back in its place. "Our first time together, your first time. I wasn't gentle." The pain in her voice is so evident that only now, I realize fully why she thinks my first time was such a big deal. She thinks that I didn't have a good experience.

"And I wouldn't have wanted it any other way," I state simply, but she doesn't seem satisfied by my answer. "How can you say that? I was so fucking rough on you and I should've picked up on the signs. You were clearly so tight and afterwards, you could barely walk because you were hurting." The brunette in front of me drops her fork and looks me deep in the eye.

"I'm so so sorry, Pez. I wish you would have told me beforehand. I would've slept with you either way, but I wouldn't have let it happen in a public place and I certainly wouldn't have fucked you the way I did."

For a moment, it seems like tears are forming in her eyes, but they disappear so fast that I'm not sure they were even there. I shuffle forwards a little and grab her slightly trembling hands in mine. "Hey, no. You don't get to beat yourself up over that. It was my decision and I don't regret it at all. You'll get your chance to be gentle with me, but you made me feel amazing even if it was quite rough."

The brunette nods softly at my words but still seems a little uncertain. "I'm serious, Jade." She nods again at my words and softly lets go of my hands to continue eating. I didn't realize that Jade would feel like this after finding out and I surely didn't think I would see her this vulnerable.

After that, our conversation quickly gets lighter and we finish dinner laughing and joking around. "I actually did no studying at all today, so could you maybe tutor me tomorrow?"

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