Chapter 17

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Perrie's POV:

"Don't say it if you don't mean it," I answer while my mind is still trying to understand the words that just left Jade's lips.

"Okay." The brunette's eyes don't leave my face, but I desperately need the time to process what just happened. I left Alex to have sex with Jade and afterwards, she says she loves me without even thinking about it for two seconds.

"I love you, Perrie." My eyes shoot towards her and I give her a stern look. "I mean it. Now, can we go over to my room? I'm ready to open up to you."

My mind goes blank completely and stays that way as the brunette pulls me out of the bathroom and in the direction of her dorm. No words are spoken between us the whole time because I can't find any and I'm sure Jade is waiting until we're somewhere more private.

She leads me into her dorm room and sits down on the bed, pulling me to sit down next to her. "Are you okay?" She asks after a few moments of me just staring in front of me.

"Yeah, just overwhelmed. I have no clue what's going on right now." Jade softly takes my hand into hers and start tracing circles over my knuckles with her thumb. "I meant what I said back there. I love you. These last two weeks have been horrible. My mind wandered to you all the time. I missed you so much. I didn't know how to approach you, though, because you were kind of dating Alex and once I realized I loved you, I got really insecure. Do you know that every single story I posted on Instagram had the sole purpose of getting your attention?" The brunette chuckles slightly at her own actions.

"You and Jed getting high and posting it all over social media doesn't seem like the right thing to grab my attention. I just figured you were back to your old ways, partying and getting laid." I shrug slightly. I did see everything Jade posted and it kind of made me worry about her in the first place. When I thought about it more, I just figured she was living her best life.

"Yeah, that definitely wasn't my best moment." The brunette looks down a little before looking back into my eyes. Hers are so intense I almost look away again. "Do I still stand a chance?"

That question brings so much confusion with it. Like I've said, those past weeks weren't as hard on me as I would have thought, but does that mean that I don't have feelings for Jade? Alex' touch definitely didn't give me half the butterflies Jade's does. The brown-eyed girl seems so sincere right now and it scares me a little to see her this serious about something. "You don't have to answer that right now. I want to open up to you, even if we just end up as friends."

I nod my head softly at her, wanting to get to know Jade once and for all. "Leigh told you that the reason I wasn't myself was that my mother died 10 years ago, right?" Yet again, I nod my head at her. I don't really know how to act around her all of a sudden. I used to be very comfortable with Jade, so how could two weeks apart change that? I decide not to overthink and just wrap my arm around her shoulder to give her some support in case she needs it.

"She died when I was 10. We were a really happy family and I can remember so distinctly how everything changed after her death. I'm an only child, so it was just me and my dad left afterwards. Mom died in a car crash together with two other people. It was nobody's fault. The traffic lights were broken and were green for everyone at the crossroad. She died from the impact of the other car crashing into hers." Jade's voice sounds very calm, but it's impossible that this story doesn't affect her.

"My dad couldn't deal with the loss. He and my mom had been together since they were only 16 years old, so he had just lost a huge part of his life. He started drinking excessively and that's when it all went downhill."

*Flashback*

I'm waiting patiently at the doors of my school for daddy to show up. My backpack is sitting right next to me as I stare out of the window excitedly. It's a Thursday, which means dad and I are going to grab some ice cream before I have to go home. It's our 'date night,' he always says.

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