In the Dark

Chapter 10

Jade's POV

I hadn't seen or heard from Perrie in a few weeks. She was laying low, I guess. At least, that's what I hoped. She'd even canceled her past three appointments with me.

I didn't like it. I won't be in denial and say I didn't miss her. I did, but that wasn't the part I had a problem with. I just felt lost, for lack of better words.

She came along and completely shook up my life. It was good that she did, because she uncovered some things in the process, but now she's not around.

I feel in between. Like a stranger really, in my own body, and my own home. Like I'm living someone else's life, and the only person who knows what my life is supposed to look like is not around.

I don't want to be around Jordan. Pretending that I don't know that he's lying to me is getting harder by the day. I'm disgusted when he touches me, and pretending to enjoy sex with him is even harder.

If I'm honest, as many times as we've had sex in the past few weeks, I haven't had an actual orgasm since that day at work. Perrie's appointment. Of course, he doesn't know that because I fake that too. That's something I'm getting really good at.

I hate liars, ironically enough, so it's hard to even look at him. I think he suspects my change in attitude towards him, and judging by the mic he put in the flowers he bought me, he knows something is up.

He still hasn't mentioned it, and neither have I. I didn't want to blow Perrie's cover or whatever.

Currently, I'm laying in bed, pretending to be reading a book, when in reality I'm reading journal entries. One in particular about him.

——————

Journal entry

So Perrie and I have been sneaking around for quite some time. Plenty of people have caught us playing around together, and maybe kissing a few times, but they've all ignored it. Nobody really cared.

Except this one guy. I don't know what his problem is, but I always catch him looking at the two of us in disgust. Like he has a problem with us or something. I'm pretty sure he's homophobic, because I can't see what else could be his deal.

I'm also pretty sure he snitches on us, because we've been caught a few times and have had to do very intense exercises as punishment. Safe to say, I don't like him. He's a jerk.

Anyway, Perrie just climbed into my bunk and now she's watching me write this. I'm trying to hide it from her, but she's nosey.

She's laughing and it's so pretty. God, she gives me butterflies. Now she's kissing my shoulder and—

——————

"Hey, babe." Jordan called, and I looked up from my book, trying not to roll my eyes. My journal entry seemed to be getting good. "I need to go in to work for a little while. Are you guys going to be okay?"

"This late?" I asked, looking at the clock on the nightstand. It was already after 11.

"Yeah, nothing major." He shrugged.

"Okay. Yeah, we'll be fine." I replied. "Be careful." I decided to throw in with a smile.

He came over and I quickly closed my book. He leaned down and kissed me.

"Alright, babe. I love you." He smiled.

"I love you too." I smiled up at him.

At one point, that was true. Up until a little while ago, that was true. But it was as if the second I found out he was lying to me, I started to feel it less and less. Now, he's like a stranger to me.