His eyes settled on the clock on the wall of his studio as Lindsey took another puff of his joint then washed it down with a generous gulp of whiskey. Tonight wasn't supposed to go that way. He was supposed to be an engaged man by now. He had no doubts that Olivia would have said yes if he had been able to go on with his proposal. She wasn't pleased, when he said, the moment had passed, it no longer felt right. He should have continued, though. He shouldn't have let the mere thought of Stevie stop him from asking Olivia to marry him. Or maybe it was a sign that he was acting a bit hasty. Maybe he was meant to be interrupted. No. No, Stevie had always been the one, who believed in signs and higher powers, he was the sensible one. He stopped himself.
The clock read just past 3 am, when Lindsey glanced at it again. He should have been in bed, but he couldn't sleep. Olivia seemed to have been surprisingly peacefully resting as he listened to her soft, even breathing. It almost irritated him. Was it really that, though? Or was it the thought of divorced Stevie somewhere not that far away from him?
What the hell happened, Lindsey asked himself for seemingly the hundredth time. The last time they saw each other, Stevie refused to see him again because she was a married woman. She had a husband then, they had kids together. Sure, she had hinted that the man was unfaithful then, that she wasn't even sure if she still loved him, but she definitely didn't appear to be considering separation. Why did it even matter to him? Maybe he was just lonely then. They reunited after many years, something was bound to happen. No, no that wasn't it, he sighed heavily, rubbing at his tired eyes.
How am I supposed to find her, Lindsey thought, then frowned. Find her? Why would he want to look for her? He had moved on. He had Olivia. He loved her... Liked her a lot? Whatever his feelings towards her were, she was good for him, that much Lindsey realized. There was no history, no baggage, no failed attempts at being happy. They were happy.
Lindsey rose from his seat and moved over to the couch to lie down. He felt a headache coming and he closed his eyes. After a few minutes, he thought that he finally might be able to sleep, but instead, he saw an image of Stevie's face behind his closed eyes and they snapped open.
"Goddammit!" Lindsey yelled out and swung his legs over the edge of the couch, he sat hunched over, head in his hands.
