The Art of Falling in Love

Chapter Twenty Two

❝But I always liked the thought of maybe being a runaway. I could be your lover and you could be my heartache, I could sing the songs that we used to sing when we were kids.❞ -eden, catch me if you can

"What the fuck?" Noah exclaims.

Harley and Josh pull apart from each other, clearly shocked as they stare at the both of us.

"Well," I chuckle nervously. "This isn't the bathroom."

"This isn't what it looks like," Josh says to me. "Just listen to me, please."

"Really, Josh?" I scoff, not wanting to hear his pointless excuses. "Harley Jackson? Again?"

"What the fuck do you mean again?" Noah asks, clearly pissed off.

"It was a mistake the first time and it's a mistake this time," I'll hand it to Josh, he's a good actor. I almost feel as though he's being genuine. "You're the only girl for me. Harley means nothing to me."

Harley gasps. "The 'first time'? Diana's Joshua Williams' only ex-girlfriend?"

"You're the girl Joshua cheated with?" Noah's voice is shaking with anger. "You're the home wrecker?"

"I didn't know it at the time!" Harley snaps. "I found out a week later he had a girlfriend."

I told myself I wouldn't let myself get hurt again. So why is my mind a mess and my heart aching? I should be the one who chooses who can break my heart, yet here I am, Josh having trampled it once more. Deep down, I knew it would never work with Josh again, but I still couldn't help the subtle longing that plagued my mind.

"All this talk about being in love with me yet you don't have a problem hooking up with Harley," I roll my eyes. It is such a typical Josh move. "You had to hook up with my friend's sister, right? You just needed to make the situation as fucked up as possible."

"You were the one getting all cozy with Jackson on the couch," Josh accuses and my jaw drops in disbelief. "You can't blame me for hooking up with someone when she's practically throwing herself at me."

"Hey!" Noah snaps. "Don't talk about my sister that way."

"I threw myself at you?" Harley laughs humourlessly. "You were the one getting jealous because of Noah and Diana! You wanted something to throw in their faces, didn't you?"

I don't know why, but it stings to see Harley and Josh together. It might be because I get to see it in real life now; the reason why my heart first got broken. Is it possible that I still have lingering feelings for Josh?

"Not that it's any of your business, but Noah and I haven't done anything," I glare at Josh, anger boiling through my blood. "Earlier this week, I was asking myself if we could have a future together. I have my answer now."

"You were always the one to give up on us," Josh's voice is awfully calm. "You never liked the idea of us being long term. You talked about breaking up before university. You had all these boys constantly fighting for your attention; I wasn't the only reason our relationship fell apart."

The Jackson siblings fall silent at this point, watching Josh and my argument. Even though I don't believe his words, Josh has a way of making people doubt themselves. Unfortunately, I'm not immune to his unique charm.

"I know," I agree, exhaling. "I was always thinking about the future. Maybe I wasn't in the present with our relationship, but that doesn't mean you can blame me for what you did."

"We were both at fault, Diana," Josh says softly. I'm not used to hearing my name on his lips so gently. "I'll admit, I was more at fault than you"—I scoff and he rolls his eyes at my usual attitude—"But I know now that we're meant to be. I do love you. You're the only girl I've ever loved."

"But I won't be the last one," I tell him. "I don't trust you, Josh. You don't think I'm really there in our relationship. Our relationship isn't good; we fight and argue and blame each other. Is that what you want?"

"I'm willing to work on my flaws," Josh says. "I just need to know if there's a chance...for us."

I'm more confused than ever now. Josh is looking at me with those eyes I used to dream about. Noah has a grimace on his face as he analyzes my emotions.

But when I look at Noah, with his hazel eyes that have started to feel like home, I know my answer before I can even blink. He smiles at me, and everything suddenly feels simple.

"No," The finality in my tone shocks even myself. "I'm willing to be friends but...I'm not going to put myself through that pain again, Josh. You hurt me in a way I didn't think was possible. It was only when I met N–someone else that I realized it could be possible to open my heart up again."

Josh doesn't look surprised or upset. He has a small smile on his lips. "So it was love?"

"I guess it was."

Everyone is silent for a moment. Why did that feel like a breakup when we weren't even together?

I feel a warm hand grasp my hand, and I look up to see Noah watching me carefully. "Come on, love, I think it's time to go."

I nod in agreement, sending another tentative smile Josh's way.

"Harley Jackson, your ass better be following me out this room or I'll tell mom you slept with Diana's ex," Noah threatens. Harley rolls her eyes but follows us out of Josh's bedroom.

Harley decides to stay at the party a little longer, while Noah and I choose to walk home. We had gotten a ride here from Lauren, but they wanted to stay at the party longer.

As Noah and I walk down the pavement street, he doesn't let go of my hand and I find myself not minding. In fact, it is quite comforting.

"Diana, love, are you okay?" Noah asks after a little bit.

"Yes," I answer honestly. "I thought maybe Josh and I could eventually work out, but I realize now that I don't want us to. I never wanted us to."

"Why not?"

"I always felt like something about our relationship was off. I may have loved him, but I didn't trust him or see a future with him. All it took was a certain boy to make me see that."

Noah chuckles. "And who's this certain boy?"

"You."

Noah looks surprised, and I'm impressed that I had the guts to say it aloud. But it's true; Noah made me realize what I should actually feel. I should feel happy, safe and comfortable, all the things Noah makes me feel. It could be as a friend or perhaps even more, I'm not sure, and that's the most frightening part.

Noah looks at me and murmurs so quietly, as if he doesn't intend for me to hear, "What are you doing to me?"

"I could ask the same thing," I laugh quietly. "Come on, I'm tired and hungry."

All seriousness vanishes from Noah. "Ah, you do become quite the hangry bitch, I must say."

"Careful with your words, Jackson, or this hangry bitch could bury you."

"Duly noted. Let's get you home, you've had one hell of a week."

When we get back to my home, I see that my parents are already asleep. I invite Noah in to watch some movies before he goes home, since he lives close by and doesn't have to worry about a long walk home.

Noah and I sit in my bed with my laptop sitting on both of our laps. We watch one of the Avengers movies (since they're my favourites) and I comfortably lay my head against his shoulder.

By the time the movie finishes, it's 4 AM and I can barely keep my eyes open. We leave for the mountains soon, so I remind myself to pack my bags in the morning.

"I should go now," Noah murmurs, but doesn't make any effort to move. "It's getting late."

I don't know if the last of the alcohol is speaking for me, or if in my tired trance I became selfish, but the word escapes my lips, "Stay."

I don't wait for a response, but I feel Noah shift, moving us so that we're laying down instead of leaning against the bed frame.

The last thing I remember before falling asleep is the gentle ghost of a kiss on my forehead.

A/N: hangry - the tendency to become irritable/angry when hungry; a trait I am quite familiar with.