The Art of Falling in Love

Chapter Thirty One

❝Who were you before they broke your heart?❞ -Heart, Who and One

No one, not even Damon or Hunter, has heard from Noah in four days. He hasn't been picking up his phone and when a couple of us drove by his house earlier today, his car wasn't there.

I finally decide to ask Harley about it after meeting up with her at a café. Despite what had happened with her and Joshua, I find that I really enjoy her company. She is as sweet and fiery as her brother. Though, Noah hasn't exactly been the best these past few days.

"Have you heard from Noah recently?" I ask tentatively after a quick hug.

Sipping on her coffee, Harley tilts her head in confusion, "he didn't tell you? He went to go see our dad."

It takes me by surprise, to say the least. I know Noah wanted to visit his father, but I hadn't thought so soon. He was still slightly reluctant last time I asked about him.

"You didn't go with him?"

Harley shakes her head. "I'm not really a huge fan of my dad. Noah's always been more sensitive when it came to him. He's held onto this idea that our dad will come back, but he never will. Dad's happy with his new family."

"Does it bother you? That he seems happier?"

Harley shrugs. "It goes both ways. He hasn't bothered with me, I haven't bothered with him. He left when I was really young; I barely remember him. The last time I saw him was two years ago, when he gave me a laptop for my birthday. It's like he thinks he can buy my love."

"Sorry to hear that."

"It's not your fault," she dismisses. "Also, is everything okay with you and Noah? He seemed really weird the night he left. Almost heartbroken."

I grimace at the thought of being the reason why Noah was upset. We had both said things we shouldn't have said, allowing the rage to speak instead of our minds. All I've wanted to do for two days is see him, just to make sure he's doing alright. In Harley's opinion, he isn't.

"We had a fight," I reply vaguely. "It escalated really quickly and he got mad and left. I haven't heard from him since."

"No wonder," Harley muses. "He really likes you. I understand why he was so sad now."

"It doesn't feel like it," I say. "He had no problem insulting me when he found out I slept with Josh."

"Of course you slept with Josh," Harley says as though it's obvious. "You dated."

"I slept with him a week ago."

"Oh," Harley mumbles, an unreadable expression on her face. "Well, that'll do it."

"He had no right to get so mad at me," I say. "It's my choice who I want to sleep with. He basically called me a slut and left."

Harley shakes her head, "he's heartbroken, Diana. Imagine hearing the guy you have feelings for slept with his ex. It's like a slap to the face; you don't matter as much as you thought you did. Obviously, I'm not justifying any form of slut shaming, but I know my brother well. He only lashes out like that when it's someone he cares about."

I am quiet for a moment. Of course I agree with Harley, but there were so many other ways to approach the situation. I'm not the saint in this situation, but I sure as hell didn't ignite the flame to our argument. I hadn't walked away or refused to talk about my feelings, I had been right there, willing and ready. Communication is key, and he wasn't willing to offer that. Not yet, at least.

I get to thinking more about what Harley said. How would I feel if I found out that Noah had slept with Amelia a week ago? Thinking back on my jealousy even at the mere thought of them hanging out, I recognize that I would have been devastated. I would have been just as hurt and angry as Noah had been that day.

When they kissed, I don't think I ever experienced heartbreak like that, not even with Josh cheating on me. It was a different kind of heartbreak, one that was even more painful. It was the potential of could have been that had broken me. It could have been me with Noah that night. It should have been me. Now imagine them sleeping together? Yeah. I would've committed a crime.

"I need to see him," I murmur, more to myself than Harley. Louder, I ask, "when does he get back?"

Harley shrugs. "No idea. He didn't say much. Just packed his bags and told our mom where he was going. He left his phone at home, too."

I guess that explains why he hasn't been answering anyone. Still, I am unsatisfied with the whole situation. I need to talk to him. See him. Hug him.

"I'm so conflicted," I tell her. "On one side, I want to kiss him and on the other, I want to forget about him and move on with my life. I like him so much, but we have so many issues. We aren't even dating and we still argued with so much anger and sadness. What if it only escalates from there? Even though I love your brother, I'd rather just be friends than risk our friendship."

"Wait, you love him?" Harley asks quietly.

"What? I said I like your brother." I backpedal immediately, realizing my slip up.

"No," Harley denies excitedly. "You love him! You love Noah! No takebacks!"

Is it possible? Do I love Noah?

"I love him," I think aloud in sudden realization. "I need to see him. But, the last time we talked we got into this huge argument, why am I realizing that I love him now?"

"Because you realize that you miss him," Harley explains softly. "Because when the one you love is no longer there, you appreciate them even more. You really love him, don't you?"

"Yes," it's like a weight is lifted off my chest. I love Noah. "Would it be stupid to drive down to see him? I have to tell him I love him."

"It would be so stupid," Harley grins. "Do it."

❀ ❀ ❀

Harley gave me the address of her dad's house. It is about an hour drive away, so I tell my parents I will be hanging out with Alyce for a bit. Alyce already agreed to cover me in case my parents call her.

I have no idea what I'm going to do when I see him. Sure, I've just realized that I'm in love with him, but does he get the privilege of hearing those words when he hurt me? I am so conflicted at this point.

On one end, he deserves to know. On the other, I don't want him to think he can just get away with what he had said. I know I said some things back that were rude, but I'm willing to apologize and get through this. He had simply left. We clearly dealt with our anger in different ways, but that wasn't an excuse to give everyone the cold shoulder without any explanation. The only reason we knew he was even safe was because of Harley.

I figure that when I see him, everything will make sense. If he feels the same way, we'll mutually apologize and continue on with our lives. That is the ideal situation, but my life tends to take the harder route.

I'm in love with Noah.

How in the fuck did that happen?

Driving down the long road, I can't help but wonder if what I am doing is right. What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if I freak him out?

There are so many things that could go wrong and yet, I find myself continuing to drive. Because the small chance of falling deeper in love with Noah is worth it.

A/N: kind of a filler but necessary. I feel like you guys have waited long enough, it's been thirty chapters with not even a kiss. I promise, soon.

Also how do you guys feel about Joshua and Diana? Was it a dumb decision or is Diana entitled to do as she wants?