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I pulled up to the driveway and sat in the car for a few minutes in silence. I was still crying from what happened an hour before and needed to stop before I went inside. I didn't want to worry Ryan. I continued to wipe away tears until there wasn't any left, took a deep breath and got out of the car, locking it behind me.
Walking to the front doors seemed like an enternity as I slowly dragged me my feet in front of me. Thoughts were scabbling around in my mind, it felt like a tornado was in there. Decisions I wish I could have made differently, words I wish I would have said, anything that I could've done right. All events crashing together, it felt like my head was going to exploded. Everything that happened recently came at me so fast that I haven't had a chance to stop and recollect myself, and now I was crumbling everywhere.
I didn't noticed that I was at my front door, cracking it open until a smell of burnt chicken and corn filled my lungs. There was a thin layer of light smoke leading from the kitchen. As I looked around the corner from the living room, I saw Ryan, scramperying to stop the chicken from burning more and the cook book, that was laying to close to the burner, from catching on fire.
I couldn't help for laughing at the sight, frightening Ryan from my sudden outburst. "Hey, you're home!" He said with a smile. "I was going to surprise you with dinner, but, I think I messed up somewhere. I swear I've made this before and it came out fine, but I don't know what I did an-" a sudden burst of a flame surprised both of us.
I was still laughing slighty as I walked toward the stove, turning the burners off and moving the cook book, that was showing a pot roast reciepe still. I looked at Ryan, who had a silly smile on his face, his expression showing happiness and embarassment. He brought his arms up, his left hand holding a towel. "Surprise!" He said, still smiling silly like. Suddenly, all emotions I had struggled to keep down, hidden far away from him, bursted out as I felt tears began to fall down my cheeks. Ryan's expression changed as quickly as my emotions, his face showing concern as he slowly came closer. "It's okay, I'll clean this up, and-and we can just order out."
I laughed a little, but continued to cry as my thoughts of everything came back. He came closer, putting his hands, and the dirty towel he was still holding, on my shoulders, causing me to completely break. The tears began to flood out and I wrapped my arms around Ryan's torso tightly, making sure he couldn't leave me. "Honey, what's wrong?" I could feel him wrap his arms around me in comfort. "It's okay, (Y/N), it's alright, everything is fine, I'm here. It's okay." When he realized I couldn't stop crying, he picked me up, bridal style, and carried me to the living, sitting me down before himself, bringing me closer. Within moments I could feel myself drift of into sleep, sniffling slight at times. His hold on my never loosened.
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Suddenly I woke to a vibration noise near my head. I slowly opened my eyes, the bright light on my phone blinding me for a moment. When my eyes adjusted, I noticed it was a text from Felix.
'Tomorrow night.'
All I did was lay there, starring at my phone until it went to sleep mode. When I was left with darkness surrounding me, I felt myself began to cry quietly, not moving to trying not to wake Ryan who still had a hold on me, as if worried I would disappear. I could feel myself drift into sleep again. All I wanted was to sleep, and forget life.
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