what love will last

the guilt

A few weeks later

You'd stuck to your new routine, going to the gym ect and little by little stopped smoking as much. the thing with Matt was just kinda pushed to the side and never mentioned again but you were both very aware it happened. no one else knew apart from you, Matt and Devin, you wanted to tell Nick but you didn't wanna risk someone else telling Chris before you got to.

friday 1:30am

you were chilling in your bed watching euphoria when your phone started ringing, Chris.
you: hello
Chris: h-hi Gabriella !!!
you: hey...
Chris: can you do me a favour please
you could tell off his voice he was wasted
you: yeah what is it ?
Chris: could you come pick me up please
you: yeah where are you rn ?
Chris: *address*
you: i'll be 10 minutes
you got out of bed, put on a hoodie and shoes, grabbed your car keys and drove to where Chris was. it was a house party ofc Chris would be here. you called him and told him you were outside and he stumbled to your car with a bloody nose. he got into the passenger seat and just sat staring out the window
you: wtf happened..
Chris: just some kid. can we leave !
you looked down at his hands and seen cuts all over them
Chris: please Gabriella, i'm gonna explode
you: o-okay..
you started driving to Chris's house but he noticed which way you were going
Chris: uh Gabby not my place..
you: oh why
Chris: i can't go home like this..
you: you can stay at mine ?
Chris: please
you nodded your head and started driving to your house, Chris was way too drunk and his nose was still bleeding so you took him up to your room bathroom and started cleaning him up. he sat up on the counter while you cleaned his nose and got him new clothes to wear
you: why were you fighting ?
Chris: some stupid kid started his shit
you: yeah over what tho ?
Chris: just saying stuff about me and my brothers
you: oh...
you just continued to wipe his face and clean out the cuts on his hands, Chris just stared at you with that look and those eyes. he loves you and he hates himself for it. as you were holding his face to clean his nose, Chris looked deep into your eyes and kissed you... you kissed him back but quickly pulled away
you: i-i-i'm sorry...
Chris: oh... are you not into that anymore ?
you: no it's not that it's...
Chris: it's what ?
you just paused and stared at the ground, you felt tears coming but you held them back
you: Matt and i-
Chris: no...
he slid off the counter
you: Chris i'm so sorry...
Chris: no bro.
you: please-
you grabbed his arm but he pulled it away
Chris: i always knew Gabriella... i ALWAYS KNEW
you: Chris it's not like that at all-
Chris: who leaned in for it ?
you knew it was Matt but you didn't wanna tell Chris that because you knew he was too hurt
you: me..
Chris just looked at you, you seen the anger on his face and he stormed out, you tried to get him but he wasn't listening and he left. you called Matt crying
Matt: wow, wow Gabriella what's wrong !!
you: Chris knows.
Matt: aw fuck.. well it's best we tell him no ?
you: yeah i guess. he hates me
Matt: nah bruh he'll forgive you, he'll hate me
you: i told him it was me that kissed you
Matt: why ?
you: so he didn't hate you ?
Matt: i'll deal with him Gabriella it's okay
you: it's not, that stupid mistake bro
Matt heard the word mistake and his heart sank
...
Matt: yeah "mistake" i'll get Chris Gabriella bye.
you: oh not mistake i-
Matt hung up, you just sat on your bathroom floor and cried. you felt awful. maybe it was best if you just left them both alone ? you seem to be causing any sort of problem in their lives... you went to your drawer, got your weed and rolled a joint. you just sat at the bathroom window and smoked.

Chris could hardly see where he was going, he just stumbled away from you and tried to find somewhere to sit down. he needed a minute. after a struggle he just put his back to a wall and slowly slid down it and lit a cigarette. he was so hurt and he didn't even understand why himself. as he was smoking his phone rang
"Matt"
*declined*
Chris didn't want to see, talk, look or even think about either of you right now but all he could think about was you. he had some beer with him so he just sat at that wall in the cold himself and drank and smoked.
an hour later Chris was still sat there just dwelling and honestly feeling sorry for himself, he had to talk to Matt so he called him
Matt: Chris !
Chris: out of any fucking girl you had to chose Gabriella. out of any fucking girl you had to chose her !
Matt: it wasn't meant to happen Chris, trust me
Chris: you could've pulled away. idek who i'm more hurt about you or her.
Matt: she lied Chris...
Chris: about what..
Matt: i kissed her... she didn't want you to hate me forever so she lied
Chris: you can both fuck off
he hung up and walked home, no one was awake so Chris just went straight to his bed. he looked at some photos of you and him and watched some edits but he drifted to sleep. he was just hurt and that's why he was lashing out