The Heartless Queen

6 || M I C A E L A

Nightmares are always caused by something dramatic that happened to a person. Nightmares remind me of what I've been through growing up with my aunt. It makes me see how much pain I had been inflicted on.

Nightmares are memories but they are not happy ones, yet they are there to torment the person of their said memories. I've always had them. I've tried everything in my power to stop them from touchering me.

They stopped from time to time. They would be gone for months but then they come back to remind me of what I went through. Those nightmares don't help me in my mental state, I have depression and only to relive a moment can make me shut down.

It's not easy to have nightmares especially when you're the one suffering in them. Not only was I in pain when it happened but I'm also in pain when I have to relive through that moment.

It's been almost a year since I had a nightmare but as I woke up with sweat running down my face I realized that they were back. I thought that I was over everything that happened to me but I guess I would never be.

It's something I have been fighting for. I fought for myself to get better and accept all the things but I know deep down I will never be able to.

At a young age I realized that what Natalia was doing to me was wrong. I was not a dumb child I could see how other parents would treat their kids and then there she was, she treated me the polar opposite.

But I could never do anything about the situation. I did try once to talk with her but that only ended with me beaten to almost death. Since then I never tried to reflect with her that what she was doing was not ok. So I let her do what she wanted until I had enough and left.

I looked over at the time to see that it was five in the morning. Just in time, since I always wake up at this hour besides on Sundays. I always start with a workout cause I didn't buy my body so I brushed my teeth, put my hair up in a ponytail, and changed into gym clothes.

Noah had showed me around so I knew where I could find the gym. I stayed there for around an hour before going into the kitchen to drink water cause I ran out. But the moment I entered I saw Benjamin, Joseph, Mason were talking with each other.

I didn't even bother to look in their way before grabbing a glass of water. I turned around when I finished to see that all of them were staring at my tattoos that were displayed since I didn't cover them not thinking they would be already awake.

"Are those tattoos I see on your body," he angrily asked.

"Nooo there drawings I made myself cause I'm a fucking child that draws on herself. Do you like them?" I sarcastically answered.  What else would it be if they weren't tattoos like a common old man your whole body is covered in them.

"Now Micaela, don't you talk back to me. Or else-"

"Or else what Benjamin. Are you going to send me away, it's not like I want to be here with you morons," I looked at three men staring at me with shock and anger in their eyes but a bit of sadness behind.

I left because I didn't know what else I would say if I didn't. When I tend to get angry I explode and many things can be said that can have consequences. But before I did I heard him announce that all of us were going to go shopping.

I just went back to my room to get ready for breakfast and then to go to the mall. Once I was fully ready I went downstairs to eat breakfast. They were already waiting to eat as I was the last one to arrive.