The Heartless Queen

9 || M I C A E L A

Love can mean many things. It can be interpreted in different ways. Love can grow for your parents, family members, siblings, friends, and lastly a lover.

Love and being in love are two different types of love. Loving someone doesn't mean they will be your forever, it's just a deep affection for someone. While being in love with a person it may mean that they will be your forever, be there for you when someone you love can't, it's a feeling of deep ramantic or sexual attachment to someone.

Loving someone may not mean that you would be attached to them nor need them for comfort when you have a person you are in love with that knows all your deep secrets. They know what's wrong with you even when you build walls so high up while there are the people you love who don't realize that maybe being alone is not something you want.

I didn't know the definition of love until I was ten, my family helped me and made me feel loved. They were the ones to teach me what real love is. It wasn't easy at first but I got the hang of what tire love really meant.

They taught me that what Natalia said and did was never for love but hatred. They taught me how a child my age should really be treated and how they should be loved.

They shouldn't grow up believing that being hit was a form of a parent showing their love to their child. I used to think that's the way she showed her love for me but then I would see how parents treated their children out in the streets, with love shining in their eyes.

I didn't want to believe that it was only me but then there was my family to make me realize that it was all true. Natalia never loved me even when I was just a baby. But it wasn't hard to comprehend that there was no chance of her ever loving me, it wasn't like I loved her.

I never had a reason to love that woman. I didn't know the definition back then but even if I knew what it meant it wouldn't have changed anything. She wasn't much of a lovable witch.

But being in love was something I never thought about. Falling in love was never in my mind, it was only a waste of time and a big weakness in my world.

I didn't grow up watching my parents be in love. I didn't have a couple close to me that would show me what being in love with a person was.

Then there was my world. I can't have someone important in my life when I have thousands of enemies out there trying to find something of mine that would hurt me. I do have my family and baby but the lovers are the ones to get targeted more than family, since they have know more information of the mafia.

Since I became a teenager I haven't had much interest in boys. My life was hectic so I didn't have time for them nor time to think about being in a relationship when I barely had time.

Men like to be dominant and girls the submitter. I had alway been a hard headed and because I am into men that wouldn't work out. I never liked being dominated by anyone, not even my family, so why should I let a stranger dominate me?

Besides all of this I never believed in love. I always thought that it was just a waste of time and at the end that person could vanish from your life in one second leaving your heart in millions of pieces.

I always thought that I didn't have a heart since I only felt it until I saw Catalina. I only had a heart that was full of love for her so why did my heart skip a beat when I locked eyes with him?

Though as I realize now that it wasn't the first time it did. It also skipped a beat at the food court and I've also seen those eyes there. His eyes were the ones I locked with when I was fixing my clothes but I couldn't see anything besides his eyes so I didn't pay much attention to it.

I know it was his eyes, I could never forget the eyes that made me feel something love inside of me. It drew out all the people around us and it was only him and I.

I looked into his light brown eyes wishing I could just stare at them for eternity. They drew me in like a magnet, it was crazy to see that he could capture my attention so fast. Yet it did scare me because this was all new to me. I've never experienced this.

He was really cute, he looked to be about six feet tall which was almost my height. I'm 5'10. He has brown eyes, wavy short hair, a strong jaw line but he wasn't heavy built he was mostly slim. And then there was his plum, touched with pink, lips; that made me want to do ungodly things to him.

We kept out stare forgetting that there was people around us until someone decided to fucking ruin it.

"What are you staring a-...holy shit," Ana Lee said mid sentence, turning to where I was looking, then turning to face me again.

"Holy shit, I was not expecting that guess hell did freeze over this time," she said in shock.

It was expected since I never did look at a boy longer than a second. And I did say that I would never look at a person longer than necessary and if I did then hell froze over. So seeing me watch him so closely was shocking to them since they know what I think about love.

"Hi I'm Callum, I will be your waiter for tonight, what can I get you guys to start with," he said softly.

I could see it in his eyes. He was kind and innocent but he too hid pain in his eyes. Taking our orders he left, leaving me to still think about him.