How Could She? (Book 2.0) - INTERSEX

Chapter One

Rayden

My current work and personal life are not what I expected they would be when I was younger. To be honest, I've never had a fixed plan for my life. I simply woke up each day, went to school, returned home, slept, and then repeated the next day. Isn't that what kids do until they're 18 years old? It was like living in a perpetual state of repetition for me, and I never stopped to consider what I wanted to accomplish with the remainder of my life. I was just concerned with living in the moment, and it's not that I didn't enjoy it, it was actually absolutely fantastic.

Every other day, I would skip school and hide under the volleyball bleachers smoking pot. I never did it by myself though. I was never alone. I've had someone by my side since the day I was born, through the good and bad. She was my person, the person I thought would be my forever, until she wasn't. Until she crushed my heart into bits and left me behind. I was a carefree go-getter before she left, and I'm still that go-getter today, but I care just a little bit more these days. It hurts a lot more because I never got to say goodbye, or even hear why she had to leave when she did.

The problem is, her disappearing like she did, leaving me behind without so much as a note, never changed the way I felt about her. It merely added a few new feelings towards her fueled by pain and anger. It's not like I'll ever have the opportunity to tell her how fucked up what she did was. I'll never get to look her in the eye and ask her How Could She shatter my heart into a million pieces, when she promised me Forever and Always.

***

The temperature rises as the thick black smoke envelops my body. Everything including the furniture, curtains, and walls, is engulfed in a blaze of yellow and orange flames that dart back and forth. I take a few deep breaths through my SCBA mask and open my ears to listen to the surrounding area.

I hear a faint shriek coming from behind the bathroom door, but I'm not sure what's making the sound because of the fire crackling in my ears. As I make my way through the flames, I am startled by a young child who seems to be around six years old. Her blonde hair is covered in gray ashes, and her wide brown eyes are brimming with tears.

To keep the smoke from getting into her lungs, I remove my mask and place it over her mouth and nose. I lift her up and bring her out of the room. As I'm making my way out, I hear the splintering of beams above us, and I realize I need to move a lot quicker.

My speed increases as she tightens her grip on me, and I sprint towards the front door. Just as we get to the light of the front entrance, a flaming post comes crashing down, preventing us from escaping. She begins to tremble in my arms, but my expression assures her that we will make it out alive.

Think Rayden. Think. The back entrance is our only other way out. When I look down the hallway, I notice that the flames have been separated slightly for us to pass. I change my direction, still fearful of the building collapsing at any moment.

The door is visible, and we rush through it just as the ceiling collapses and a blast of black smoke rises. Screams may be heard coming from the front of the house. I lower my gaze to the young kid in my arms. "I got you, little one." I remove the mask and take her around to the front of the building.

My squad has their heads hanging low, and a woman is wailing on her knees in the street. We make it all the way to the front of the home before anyone noticed our presence. "Ay Dios mío," the woman yells, and the whole neighborhood starts cheering. I hand the woman her child, and they both begin to cry. "Salvaste a mi hija," she adds, her eyes welling up with tears.

I smile at her as she wraps her arms around me, embracing me in a tight hug, and I return her hug. "Gracias, gracias," she sobs. "You're very welcome." She lets go of me and returns her attention to her daughter. I turn around and return to the truck.

"Reed? What in the world was that? I pulled the squad away from the home. It was a done deal."

"With all due respect, Chief," I say, "there was a child left behind."

"I get that, but next time don't be so reckless and go in without backup. Nice work today."

"Aye, aye, Captain," I answer with a salute, sarcastically. As I watch them finish putting out the last of the fire, Captain Winters rolls her eyes and walks away to get into the front of her fire truck.

As I'm standing next to the truck, my phone rings and I sneer at the message. Every other Saturday at 8 p.m., I get this strange text message with a lot of lines and dots. I scoff and delete the message. "Fucking scams," I mutter to myself before getting into the truck to leave.

We pull into the station, and the team jumps out.

"Nice work Reed."

"Damn girl, that was fire."

"Atta girl."

Compliments and hi-fives are given left and right as I make my way to the locker room.

I drop my bunker gear to the floor, before hanging it back up. I'm in my sports bra and spandex shorts. I reach to grab my sweats, and my wallet falls out of the locker. A photo slides from the opening onto the floor, and I crouch down to pick it up.

My finger runs across a photo of my once best friend and ex-girlfriend when we were 7 years old. I don't know why I still keep a photo of her on me. I guess somewhere deep down, I know I still love her.

I'm shaken out of my thoughts from a vibrating phone. I stand up and grab it, seeing Chelsea as the caller id. Chelsea is my girlfriend. I'm not sure why I have one; perhaps it's for comfort, to avoid feeling like I'll be alone for the rest of my life. I know I should end things with her, but I just can't bring myself to do it or harm her in that way.

"Hey, Chels. What's up?"

"Nothing, just sitting here wondering when you'll be home. I made grilled chicken for dinner," she answers from the other side.

I sigh into the phone. "I'm getting ready to leave now. We got called to fire right as I was getting off."

"I figured. Did everything go okay?"

"Yeah, the usual. I'll see you when I get home."

"Uh. Okay, well, I love you," she whispers loud enough for me to hear.

"You too, bye"

I put the phone down, and stroll to my locker. I'm unable to repeat those words. I'm sorry if I'm causing her pain, but my heart has always belonged to someone else. Despite the fact that someone else left me when I needed her most. I just don't have the same feelings about Chelsea. I get up, finish dressing, and go out the door to go home.