Graffiti Night

I Can't Do This Anymore...

This chapter goes to punkgirl101 :) She has all of a sudden just voted for every single chapter of this book. I only asked her to have a look at my book and she voted for it. She didn't have to but she did and it means the world to me punkgirl10
So thank you so much :)

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there. Become so tired, so much more aware. I'm becoming this, all I want to do, is be more like me and be less like you - Numb, Linkin Park

Also apologies for the extremely late chapter, but I've had sooo much school stuff going on. Forgive me, please.
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Them next day goes by quickly. I woke up with Oli lying next to me. He was already awake when I woke up, but he had stayed quiet and still. Then everything went forward like it was a blur. Soon enough I was in Oli's car and we were driving to his place.
"So, this is my apartment block." He parks the car and we both get out.
"Your apartment block?" I ask.
"Yeah, mine. It's all mine. Nah, just kidding. My apartment is on the tenth floor. Just below the penthouse." He explains. I nod and he opens the door to the apartment block and allows me to go in. We start a long walk up stairs which proves some difficulty to me, but we soon, with the help of Oli holding my arm, reach his apartment door. He unlocks it and pushes the door open. I look in and it takes me by surprise.
"Wow." I say.
"I know. It's tiny. It's my kitchen, bedroom, living and dining space combined into one room." He smiles. "Then the bathroom has it's own separate room." I walk in.
"Where's your bed?" I ask. He points to the farthest corner to the right. It's a double bed.
"Does that mean we are sleeping in the same bed?"
"I'll take the couch, if you want me to, but I'm happy to share." He smiles. I nod and sit on the couch.
"Are you hungry?" He asks. "'Cause I'm starving."
"Yeah, I could do with some food."
"Pizza?"
"Please." He laughs and grabs his phone.
"What do you want?"
"Hawaiian."
"My favourite." He dials a number and orders.

Soon enough we are stuffing our faces with pizza and guzzling down coke as we watch a Fast & Furious marathon. After the third movie, we take a break.
"So," he says, standing up and going to the fridge, "how have you not seen any of the Fast & Furious movies?"
"I don't know. These are epic. Are you getting more food?"
"I might be." He chuckles. I shake my head and stand up, stretching. I walk around the room and look at every picture and photograph on the walls and on the desk and table.
"Are you a photographer?" I ask.
"Not professionally." He replies. "I took one picture using a Polaroid camera and I sort of found a liking for it. That liking then became an obsession. And that obsession has kind of died down now, but I still take photos every now and again." I nod and pick up a picture of some artwork I recognise. It's my angel.
"You printed it out?" I hold it up.
"Yeah," he rubs the back of his neck, "I really loved it. Is that okay?"
"Of course it is." I smile. He puts his beer bottle on the small kitchen table and picks up a Nikon camera. He turns it on quickly and then starts snapping photos of me. I laugh and hold my hand out, trying to block the lens so he can't take any more pictures. He just keeps taking photos. I keep laughing and he joins in. He bends down on one knee and keeps snapping. Then he jumps up on the couch and takes more pictures.
"Stop it!" I laugh. I'm laughing so much that my side is starting to hurt, but I don't want to stop anytime soon.
Eventually it dies down. He stops taking pictures and sits on the couch, flicking through the ones he just took. I plonk down next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. He flips all the way through them, then turns the screen of the camera away from me so I can't see what he's doing. Then he shows it to me.
"I like this one the most. You just look so free spirited and happy." He says quietly with a smile. I look at it. I'm laughing. I actually look happy. I look like I'm enjoying myself. I smile. He turns off the camera and looks at me. His hand cups my cheek as he smiles and leans forward. I lean forward too and the moment our lips touch, I feel like I'm floating. My stomach is filled with butterflies and I feel like for once I know what I'm doing. I pull away and rest my forehead on his his.
"Why'd that kiss have to end?" He asks in a whisper. I let out a small quiet laugh and look into his eyes.
"Let's take it slow." I whisper. "I still barely know you. Plus I've just broken up with Dylan- Shit! No I haven't!" I fumble for my phone and dial Dylan's number.
"Babe?" He answers. Oli watches me, taking my hand when I try to speak but can't.
"Don't call me that." I mange to choke out.
"What? Babe?" He asks.
"Yes. Dylan, I can't do this anymore. You have abused me for the last 6 years and I don't know why it too me so long to realise that you are just a sexist misogynistic pig." He is silent for a moment before I hear him sigh.
"I love you."
"Stop." I say.
"No, Amber. I'm not going to deny it. I'm in love with you Amber."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I scream. "It worked once, but it's not going to work again. You can't play the same card twice. Don't call me again."
"You know, I don't know why you kept coming back to me every time I beat you. You were like a lost puppy who had become attached to my side because I said I loved you once." There's a sadistic smirk on his lips. I can hear it and it makes me sick to my stomach.
"I don't know either." I lie.
"Yes you do. Amuse me." I stay silent, words on the tip of my tongue, but getting trapped in the net over my mouth. "What's the problem, Sugar? Cat got your tongue?" I can hear the smirk on his lips.
"It's because I thought you'd change! But it turns out that it was just bullshit."
"Your right." He admits. "I won't ever change for anybody. And all of it was bullshit. You were just a gullible slut who didn't know who else to turn to except for her abusive boyfriend." Silence fills the line because it's true. It was me who went to him when I could have gone to Mac or Ryan. I went to Dylan thinking he'd change. But stupid stupid me just ended up getting hurt again.
"Oh, where are my manners? I completely forgot to ask." He says. "How's your shoulder?" Sarcasm coats his voice and he let's out a small cold chuckle.
"It's fine." I lie with a fake smile, even though I know he can't see it.
"You know, I've never done anything like that to you. Dug a knife into your skin. It was kind of exhilarating." The creepiness was getting real as shit now.
"You're mental, Dylan. You need to be locked up in a looney bin."
"Are you ready to come back to me? Hoping I'll change?"
"Dylan, I really don't want to have this argument. It's not worth my time."
"Well, I'm not done-"
"Yeah, well, I am. So fuck off." I hang up and let the phone drop into my lap. I chew the inside of my lip nervously. Have I made things worse? I think. I shake the thought off and hold back tears as I look into Oli's eyes. I can't hold the tears back any longer and he sees them well up in my eyes and his arms immediately encircle me, pulling me onto his lap. He cradles me as I bawl my eyes out and start ranting about how much I now hate the people in my life.
"I shouldn't of trusted him in the start." I say, about Dylan, as I sit up and wipe my tears away.
"What happened happened, all you have to do is push forward and forget about assholes like that." Oli says.
"You're a good listener." I say with a small half-hearted laugh.
"Thank you." He laughs. I smile and pull the blanket over us as he grabs the remote and we resume our movie marathon.