Graffiti Night

That One Memory...

"I wait here forever, just to, to see you smile,
Coz it's true, I am nothing, without you.
Through it all, I made my mistakes,
I stumble and fall,
But I mean these words,
I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go,
These words on my heart and soul,
I'll hole onto this moment you know,
As I played my heart out to show,
That I won't let go." - Sum 41, With Me.

The picture is of James ;)
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"You found anything you like?" I hear James call out from across the op shop.
"Yeah!" I call back, grabbing the black and white bikini off the rack. I grab a pale pink one and a teal and black one too. Then I make my way to the dressing rooms and lock myself in one of the cubicles.
"You have to show me when you've got it on." James says through the door. I smile, shaking my head.
"Fine, but you don't say anything."
"Deal." I finish undressing and put the black and white bikini on. It's cute but is a bit too small. I open the door so James can come in. There was no wha in hell I was showing off my body to everyone in the shop. He slips into the cubicle and closes the door behind him. He looks me up and down staying silent. I feel awkward.
"Say something." I demand.
"Wow... You look... Stunning." He breathes. A blush creeps into my cheeks and I look away.
"It's too small though." I say, looking at it on me in the mirror.
"Well, the smaller the better." He smirks, coming closer and pinching my butt. I shoot him a glare, unlock the door and push him out. He chuckles and winks at me as I slam the door in his face.
"Try on the pink one. Bit out of your colour range, isn't it?"
"Shut up and just wait." I scold at him. He doesn't say another word. I unlock the door once I've got the bikini on and wait for James to come in. When he doesn't, I open the door a bit more and peer around. All of a sudden he jumps out in a super short bright pink dress and I burst out laughing.
"What are you wearing?" I laugh.
"Something you'd look gorgeous in." He replies.
"Shut up and get in here." He doesn't disagree, just dawdles in and locks the door behind him.
"Okay, this one you officially look the best in." He says, his eyes roaming my body. "Get it and if you don't, I will." I smack his arm and he quickly runs out of the stall. I try on the teal and black bikini but I'm practically swimming in it. I put back on my clothes and and grab the pastel pink ones. I step out of the cubicle and immediately jumped on by James. I laugh as I see what he's in this time. He's in a cute white top with a lacy design on it and a cute black skirt.
"That's actually such a cute outfit." I compliment him. He pretends to flip his hair.
"Yeah, I know right. I chose it out myself." He says in a girly voice. I giggle and roll my eyes. He looks at the bikini in my hands and his eyes light up.
"You're getting it!" He claps his hands while he jumps up and down like an excited fan-girl. I laugh harder and wipe tears from my eyes. I pull out my wallet and grab five bucks from it. I hand it to the old lady who is the cashier and she puts my bikini in the bag.
"Thank you." I smile at her, taking the bag from her frail hands. As I begin to walk out of the shop, I notice that James isn't following. He winks at me and gestures for me to walk out of the shop. So I do. He comes out in a minute carrying a white plastic bag.
"What'd you get?" I ask.
"Just a couple of tops for myself." He says carelessly. I watch him carefully and and he grins down at me, his fingers interlocking with mine. I smile and look around the Main Street. As we walk past cafés I get death glares from so many girls.
"Why am I getting so many glares from girls?" I ask.
"Either they're my ex, or they want me." He says casually. I raise one eyebrow at his cockiness, but shrug it off.

When we get back, James shows me to my room and tells me to yell out if I need anything.
The room is small but clean and perfect. It's got a queen sized bed in the middle against the wall and I've got a walk in wardrobe and an ensuite. I place the plastic on bed. I unzip my suitcase and start putting my clothes up. Then I strip out of my clothes and shoes and turn to the bed to get my bikini but the bag is gone. I must've put it down while I was exploring the ensuite. I go into the ensuite and sure enough there is the bag on next to the basin. I grab it and just as I do, the shower curtain flies back and there stands Josh. I let out a scream, grabbing a towel and covering my body.
"You fucking perv!" I scream. "James!" I yell. James bursts through my bedroom door and comes into the bathroom. He punches Josh straight in the nose. I let out a scream, covering my mouth with both hands, my eyes widening. James doesn't stop throwing punches and soon, despite already being hurt, Josh punches back, manages to stand up and squares up to fight.
"Stop!" I shout, jumping in the middle of them. James drops his hands and lets out a frustrated sigh, wiping the blood away from his noes with the back of his hand. Josh touches his split lip with a thumb.
"Josh leave," I tell him pointing to the door, "James, I wanna talk to you." He looks at me, his face expressionless. Josh walks out, bumping James on the way out. Once I hear my bedroom door close I turn to James, still holding the towel around my body.
"Is your nose okay?" I ask quietly, placing a hand on the side of his head. He nods and looks into my eyes from the ground, his head staying tilted down to the ground.
"I'm sorry." He say quietly. I shake my head.
"It's fine." I tell him. He doesn't say anything and all I can hear is our breathing. He properly looks at me. I feel his arms snake around my waist and he pulls me against his body. My hands rest on his shoulders and I can't manage to meet his gaze. He leans down and I my breath hitches in my throat. Just before his lips meet mine, I jerk my away.
"I should get changed and then we can go for a surf." I say, pushing myself out of his arms, avoiding eye contact. I grab the bag containing my bikini and place it on my bed.
"Alrighty then. I'll let you get changed and meet you downstairs." He nods and walks out of the room. I let out a sigh and the bedroom door closes and flop onto my bed. I shake off everything that just happened and get changed into my bikini. I all into the bathroom and begin removing my heavy eye makeup. I grab the small amount of sunscreen I brought with me and apply it to the front of my body and my face, but run out of sunscreen before I manage to get my back.
I walk out of my room and as I plop down the polished concrete stairs, I can't help but hear what Josh and James are talking about.
"She's mine, Josh. Just stay away from her." James spits.
"And what if I don't? What will you do? Do you want me to tell your father what really happened in Thailand? What his money is actually going towards?" Josh threatens.
"You wouldn't."
"Oh but I would. So I'm going to do whatever I want with and to her." I don't want to hear anymore. I start to walk down the stairs louder and whistle the song Medicine by The 1975. I hear the talking halt and James appears at the bottom of the stairs.
"You look gorgeous without all that makeup." He smiles. I smile back.
"You ready?" He asks.
"Do you have sunblock?" I ask. He nods and disappears somewhere, but returns a second later with a white bottle. He hands it to me.
"Can you help me put it on?" I ask him, taking the bottle from his hands. A small smile appears on his lips and he glances at Josh before nodding.
"Of course, cutie." He places a hand on the small of my back as we walk up the stairs back up to my room. I lye on the bed on my stomach so he can put the sunscreen on my back. I feel the bed dip as he gets on and almost straddles me. I feel the cold sunscreen on my upper back and I flinch. Then his hands slowly massage it into my skin. He gently rubs the lotion on and not one of us speaks. I feel his hands leave my upper back and I mentally frown. All of a sudden I feel his lips on my lower back.
"Wha-what are you doing?" I ask nervously.
"Shhh." He replies. He kisses up my back and hovers over my back as he moves the hair away from my neck and starts kissing it. I bury my face into the crook of my arm and bite my lip as he gently bites my skin.
"James." I murmur, not wanting him to stop because it feels so good, but wanting him to stop because I'm still with Oli.
"What?" He asks innocently, nibbling my ear lobe.
"We can't do this. I'm still with my boyfriend." I groan.
"I know. I'm sorry." He sits back up and applies more sunscreen to my lower back and then he moves my legs. He puts the lotion on his hands and begins to massage it into the back of my thighs.
"We need to make sure we do just under the band of your bikini so it's not such a noticeable tan line." I can hear the smirk in his voice as his hands rub the lotion onto my ass. I roll my eyes and hit him. He chuckles. He just rubs lotion onto my ass for a good minute.
"Are you done yet?" I ask.
"Gotta make sure you don't get burnt, sweetheart." He replies, pinching my butt.
"Okay, you're done." I tell him, sitting up and taking the sunscreen from his hands, shoving him onto his back. I crawl over him and put my lips close to his. I feel him tense up and his heart beat faster against his chest. I bite my lip to suppress a smile.
"We should go." I whisper.
"No, let's just stay like this for a while." He smiles. I laugh and shake my head, crawling off him. I grab the black flowy dress that stops just above my knees and slip it over my head. I slip on my black flip-flops and my felt hat and sunnies. And guess what colour they were. Yep, black.
"Yeah, let's get going." He grumbles, and I giggle. His electric blue eyes don't leave mine as he takes my hand, leading me out of my room and downstairs into another room. He switches on the light and the room is illuminated. There are about 6 surfboards on a rack, 5 wetsuits on a different rack and a cabinet full of surfboard accessories.
"We'll grab a longboard and a short board." He tells me. I nod as we walk over to the rack of boards. He hands me a short board and grabs a longboard for himself to carry. Then we head out the from door, into the blistering heat and start walking along the road.
"Why aren't we taking the car?" I whine after about two minutes.
"Because of this." He gestures to the clearing in the hedges and I can see the surf beach literally 100 meters away.
"Wow." I smile, smelling the salty air and listening to the crashing waves.
"Yeah. Josh and I were pretty lucky to be able to build the house pretty much right on the beach." I nod and follow him down the sandy steps that lead us onto the beach. As we step onto the beach, a grin crosses my face.
"Welcome to Thirteenth Becah, Barwon Heads." James exclaims.
"This is amazing!" I say excitedly. I can see many surfers behind the break of the waves.
"Mhm. The surf looks pretty good today." He smiles. "Shall we go straight in?"
"I think so." I nod, stripping off my dress, thongs, hat and sunnies. He grins, dropping the two towels onto the sand and taking my free hand.
"Just lie the shortboard on the sand and put the towels on it." James tells me. And I do as he say. Then he takes my hand again and we start running towards the crashing waves. Before my feet get to touch the water I halt. James let's go of my hand as the flashback comes to me.
*10 years ago*
I run as fast as my short legs will carry me towards my mother who has her arms outstretched, standing in the shallows. The cold water splashes on my legs and I let out a shrill giggle.
"Mummy!" I squeal as I run towards her. She laughs as I fly into her arms and she lifts me up, flying me around pretending I'm in a rocket ship. I grin at her, her blonde hair flying in the light wind. I looked exactly like her. The grey-blue eyes, more blue then grey. The blonde hair. The nice smile.
"My turn, my turn!" Ryan begs, holding his arms up, waiting to be picked up. I see my father running towards us with seaweed on his head.
"Ahhhh!" I squeal. "Daddy's a sea monster! Run away!" I squirm out of my mums arms and run along the beach, my brother just ahead of me, both of us squealing with laughter. I feel my dad grab me around the waist and lift me up onto his shoulders.
"Eek! The evil sea monster got me! Ry-Ry! Heeeeelp!" I yell. Ryan comes to a skidding halt, turns around and bolts back to us. He starts hitting dad, laughing.
"Let my sister go, you evil bum bum!" He exclaims. Dad puts me down on the sand and pretends to dies on the ground. Me and Ryan do a victory dance around him. And mum runs towards us and scoops me up, spinning around with me until we are both dizzy and fall on top of dad. Ryan jumps on to us and we all laugh.
Then we begin to build a big sandcastle and I am the queen and daddy is the king and Ryan is the prince and mummy is the princess.
"I love you so very much, Amber. Remember that." She tells me, kissing the top of my head.
* End of flashback*
"Amber?" James' voice snaps me out of my daze and I wipe the tears from my eyes.
"I'm fine." I say, even though he didn't ask. "Just a memory- flashback- whatever you wanna call it." I say.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asks.
"Umm... It was the day before..." I can't manage to say it, it feels like there is something lodged in my throat. James puts down the longboard when he sees a tear run down my face. He holds my face in his hands.
"It was the day before- before my mother... killed herself." I tell him, more tears falling down my cheeks. He wraps his arms around me and I let him hold me.
"We can leave if you want. If it brings back too many memories." I hear him say, his voice rumbling through his chest.
"No, it's fine." I assure him, wiping the tears from my eyes and cheeks. "Let's just get in the water." He nods and picks up the board and then takes my hand and squeezes it.
"I'm right here. Right next to you and that's where I'm going to stay." He tells me. He doesn't know how much those words meant to me then and there. I smile at him and squeeze his hand back. Then we start running towards the waves again. The moment the cool water touches my toes I let out a laugh. James chucks the longboard onto the water and I watch how it floats. Excitement runs through my veins and we keep running until I trip over a wave and fall into the water, pulling James down with me. We both stand up laughing, wiping salt water out of our eyes. James wraps the leg rope around his ankle keeps walking in, holding my hand again.
"We'll go out the back of the break and then we can catch a wave in and I'll hold you while you stand up." He explains.
"This board can hold two of us?" I ask.
"Yeah, but a shortboard would just sink." He replies. I nod. It starts getting deeper and deeper and soon enough I can't stand so I jump onto the board. James gets on behind me and starts kicking and paddling.
"Start paddling and we'll get there quicker." He tells me and I do.
"Uh James?"
"Yeah?"
"What do we do if there's a wave coming?" He peers from behind me and looks at the monster of a wave about to crash on top of us.
"Get off!" He yells. And I slide off the board and dive under the wave. I surface on the other side and look for James. I see the board pop through the wave, followed by James. Relief washes through me and I swim to him and get on the board again.
"That was close." He laughs. I chuckle and keep paddling. After having to go under like 500 big waves, we make it out to behind the break where all the other surfers are hanging out. We both sit up on the board, our legs dangling on either side of the board. A guy on a shortboard paddles over to us with a grin on his face.
"James!" He exclaims, doing the weird manshake thing with the clapping out the hands and stuff. "Is this your new girl?"
"Nah. Not yet anyway." His arms wrap around my waist and he pulls my back against his stomach. I roll my eyes and pry his hands off my waist. I give the guy a once over. Typical surfer hair, grey-blue eyes, a killer watt smile and a good body. I look at the deep water below me and my forehead crinkles in a worried expression.
"First time in the water?" The guy asks.
"Kinda. It's been a long while since I've been to the beach."
"Don't worry, nothing will get you. Except for him." He jerks his head towards James and I laugh. James gives him an uninterested look.
"Braiden." He says, extending his hand out. I take it and shake it firmly.
"I'm Amber." I smile.
"Nice to meet you." He smiles.
"Likewise."
"We're going to get this one, cutie." James interrupts rudely.
"Oh, okay." I say, frowning at Braiden. He chuckles and waves us off and we start paddling to catch the wave.the moment James feels the board gliding he stands up, pulling me to my feet with him. I let out a small squeal as holds my waist to keep me balanced. I rock back and forward, left and right, trying to get my balance. Finally I close my eyes, take a deep breath and feel myself straighten and collect my balance. I open my eyes and we are gliding along the wave. I stand on the surfboard mimicking what the professionals do and hold my arms out while James laughs.
"I'm doing it!" I exclaim.
"Yes you are, cutie." James chuckles. The wave loses its power and James falls head first off the board and I copy.
We get back out the back again and, after catching a few more waves with James, he tells me it's my turn to do it by myself. I take a deep breath and nod as he puts the leg rope on my right ankle, placing a hand on my thigh.
"Just do it how you were doing it with me. Nice and easy." He explains. I nod and he gives me a push and I paddle until I'm on the wave. I jump to my feet and lean in towards the wave to turn the board. I surf the wave and it feels so amazing. The wave loses its power and I jump off it into the deep. I open my eyes under the water and look down to the bottom of the ocean. It's hazy but I can kind of make out the ripples in the sand. The salt water burns my eyes but I stay under. I think back to everything that has happened lately. My chest aches in heartbreak, pain and just plain guilt. I claw at my chest in discomfort and I feel tears seep from my eyes and become part of the ocean. My lungs are bursting from not taking a breath but I feel like I don't want to take one.
I shouldn't take one.
I won't take one.
It's for the best.
I feel arms wrap around my waist and then I'm pulled out the water. I gasp for air as I'm hauls onto the board.
"Amber!" James exclaims, his voice full of worry and a hint of infuriation. "What were you trying to pull off?"
"I don't want to do this anymore." I sob. I sit up on the board and look at him. His forehead is crinkled with an expression of worry and he holds my face in his hands.
"Amber, we're going home. I can't trust you." He tells me. I don't say anything just look at him while the waves bob us up and down.
"Cutie, listen to me, we are going to go home, get changed and I'm taking you back to your boyfriend. I shake my head.
"I want to stay here with you." I whisper, my bottom lip quivering. He lets out a frustrated sigh, looking down at the board, breaking our eye contact for the first time in a while.
"Fine, fine. But we are staying in for a while and I'll give you everything and anything you need and I'm not leaving you alone for longer than a minute." He looks into my eyes again.
"I can still kill myself in less than a minute." I mumble, looking down at my hands.
"Hmm?" He asks, clearly not hearing me.
"Nothing."
"Okay, come on, we'll catch a wave in." We wait a minute before getting a wave in and walking back to the house, me carrying the short board, James carrying the longboard and an arm around my waist, comforting me.